Forgiveness is a tough topic. We have the right to choose whether or not to forgive, so if we are carrying unforgiveness that is keeping us from growing, it is entirely our choice - see Deuteronomy 30:19-20. The devil has convinced us that we don't have choices or that we are weak because of all the things that have happened in our lives, but that is a lie. If Paul or Jesus were alive today, they would be considered offensive because they spoke truth. Jesus destroyed the power of sin on the cross so we would have the power to stop our destructive behavior and poor choices. When we are in Him, we are neither helpless nor victims. Many of us have faced hurtful times and may have closed our hearts to others and to God, thinking we are unlovable. The reality is that when we close ourselves off, we make ourselves unlovable through a hardened heart.

We can often struggle with unforgiveness because we have the wrong idea of what forgiveness is. First, it is not letting them off the hook, but rather is allowing God to step in. When we are hurt, we want judgment for others, but we open ourselves to the same treatment when we do that. Ouch! That's when we might want to remember mercy. Second, forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation or forgetting the wrong. There are some relationships that it is best not to rekindle. When we are able to see God's hand working in our situation, we are on the way to forgiveness and we are letting ourselves out of the prison. Look back at Matthew 18:21-35 and the parable of the unforgiving servant. He was forgiven a massive debt by his master after pleading for mercy, but then showed none to someone who owed him money. The result was that his master took away the mercy he had given and threw him in prison. Matthew 6:15 tells us straight - if we refuse to forgive others, our Father will not forgive us. We have justified a certain amount of unforgiveness for ourselves to carry, which only allows garbage and diseased thinking when we hold onto it. Forgiveness is not natural - we MUST have supernatural help from Jesus to do it! We should also be honest with ourselves: do we hold offense as much as the world does? If we do, we aren't reflecting Jesus in our lives and we should question how strongly we are holding our faith. The third way we struggle is that we don't believe we can do it. How can we say God raises the dead but we can't get over our small hurts that won't matter when our time on earth is done? Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us to get rid of ALL bitterness. If our hearts are closed and hard, we cannot be useful for God. Our job is to trust Him for wisdom to guard our hearts. His job is to protect us and help us. Let Him do his job in you!

Amen!