You’re probably asking “who in the Hell is Freshwater Aquaman.” Well, he’s a longtime Twitter mutual of The Rooster. For the last six months, Aquaman has been working in the call center of an insurance company, which gives him unique insight into the crushing horrors built into our massive for-profit healthcare industry.

He is granted pseudonymity here primarily because I’m a big believer in monikers over government names and also he’s trying to leave the industry on his own terms, not the bosses.

I don’t even think people who have “good insurance” realize how they are only one bureaucratic decision away from getting stuck with a $58,000 medical bill.

Aquaman also offers his pragmatic solutions to the industry, his idea of cancelling the troops and what the Cleveland Browns need to do to win the Super Bowl next year