Friends, Mentors, and a Life that Matters – TPW289

Aside from family, friends and mentors might be the people who most influence our ability to make a life that matters.

Friends and mentors, and their impact on a meaningfully productive life

Recently I’ve been thinking about the women who’ve been my friends and mentors over the years, and how they’ve helped shape my view of what it means to make a life that matters.

In the last few weeks, we've talked about ways to get the things done that we need to do. But productivity is more than getting stuff done. Meaningful productivity is about making a life that matters. For me, a life that matters centers on people that matter. During a time when we’re required to be isolated, finding that friendship is even more important.

As I’ve been spending time alone these past weeks, I’ve been thinking about the importance of relationships, especially the women who’ve influenced me over the years. Some have been close friends, some have been work colleagues, and others I’ve known only from a distance, but all have mentored me in one way or another, helping shape my worldview and influencing the person I’ve become.

What is Friendship?

According to the dictionary, a friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

“A friend is someone who understands you, and if they don’t, they try to.”

from What Is a Friend, Anyway?

“A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.”

from the Urban Dictionary

Dr. Kristen Fuller, writing in Psychology Today, has said

“The psychology behind strong female friendships is strong. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, women with early-stage breast cancer were four times more likely to die from cancer if they didn't have very many friends. Those with a larger group of friends with early-stage breast cancer had a much better survival rate.”

 from The Importance of Female Friendships Among Women

What is Mentorship?

The dictionary definition of a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor.

“A mentor is a person or friend who guides a less experienced person by building trust and modeling positive behaviors.”

from What is a Mentor and Roles of the Mentor and Mentee

Affection is not required, but trust is. You can’t be friends with someone you don’t know personally, but you can be mentored by someone you’ve never met, through her writings, her speaking, even just the example you see as she lives her life in a public way.

Finding friends and mentors

For me, it’s been important to have a variety of types of women as my friends and mentors.

* Those who are younger than me often bring a level of optimism that counters the cynicism that can come with age and difficult experiences. They remind me to be optimistic and positive,