Greetings, bonjour, what’s happening

Just a quick little intro, not going to waffle like I normally do. I may or may not get to upload anything on Friday. I’m back and forth at the minute between Maidstone and London, with two very hot and bothered dogs; needs must. My wife’s had to attend some important family business abroad, so daddy’s in charge and he’s gotta’ sort out the out day care.

All next week is the get-in for this Out Here show. It’s a group called Friends from Afar, via a organisation called Dream Arts. They’re made up of Londoners that I’ve been working with for the last year, developing it. I’ve written a script based on characters and scenes they devised and composed the music. Really excited for it but it’s gonna be a nuts week.

Thursday 28th July, 7pm, at the Institute of Contemporary Arts, London. Tickets are free if you wonna come along and support these guys.

Below is the final part of the Edinburgh blog from 2016. I’ll probably be back in a couple of weeks, hopefully with the first live-stream all good to go as well.

Enjoy the sun

Peas and taters

Paul

Count Up To Edinburgh #9 Mission Complete

During the Edinburgh festival, if someone were to circulate a false rumour that so and so big-bollox TV executive / stage producer was holding open-auditions a mile out into the shark and sewage infested sea, beyond Leith docks; a hyper-enthusiastic undulating throng of: merry actors, comedians, poets, magicians, clowns, knife-throwers and jugglers would saunter en-masse (armed with flyers), down to the murky waters only to perish to certain death; disappearing in floating pools of blood and sludge and flyers with review quotes stapled to them. For years after, passers-by along Leith Port would hear distant murmurs of 'free comedy' and '4 star review' haunting the docks. Let's have it right, I'd probably be one of them mugs, though I'm sure I would have got half-way there, seen all the people heading in the same direction, cussed them off for being more organised than me and then abandoned all hope and sulked off to one of them late night takeaways that sell chips in curry-sauce. Either that or I'd turn up on the wrong day or something. In short. Edinburgh is like an extreme form of Monopoly, only difference is, it can seem, depending on what kind of day you've had, that everyone starts off with more dough and know-how than you. Mate. Edinburgh was nuts. I knew it would be nuts. Knowing it would be nuts didn't make it any less nuts, it was still nuts. But all in all, a good-nuts, like Terry Nutkins. Reast in Peace. It was really wild. To do it, and to want to do it, then want to go back and do it again, you do have to be at least slightly nuts. It just helps (a lot) if you've got the sort of dough behind you that would see you drinking in the sort of pubs that sell 10 different varieties of flavoured nuts (which come in jam jars) as a poncy alternative to crisps (which in itself is nuts, because crisps are banging, they’re not nuts, but it is nuts, as all crisps, are banging, even Space Invaders.)I pretty much had 3 objectives going up there, well, 4 actually.1: To book, organise and get a show up there then put it on every day. (This stuff does not come easy to me)2: Get my face in front of some new people, outside of London and from hopefully as many different places as possible (though half of the people at the Fringe are probably from London)3: Get a couple of reviews.4: Have a laugh (though this one was more of a given)I'm happy to say that I achieved all of those objectives. The outcomes could have been better but also could have been a lot of worse. Could of improved in all of those above areas, particularly in my preparation; prior to this I'd never sent out a press release before let alone written one. Probably could have used my time up there more efficiently as well, flyering other events etc but all in all, I was pleased.

The first week was very up and down and despite having a good audience for my first 2 shows it really dropped off and I was struggling a bit. Walking around the city, already sodden and cold, seeing all the massive hoardings and billboards advertising really banal-looking shows, most of which had some quirky face on, with some quirky show name, each one seemingly telling me, 'you can't afford this, go home, you small time mug.'

Sounds a bit melodramatic but at times that's how I felt. Some of these people that take shows up there, must be able to write off £10K or some other ludicrous amount and it not be a problem for them. For many people though, it must break the bank. Everything up there costs and it's very difficult if you don't have a lot of money. High venue costs. High accommodation costs. Massive billboard posters. PR Companies. It's a lot. Thank God then for The Free Fringe and the ethos with which is stands for, which meant I didn't pay for hiring the venue I performed in, which is a massive cost. Simple really. We don't pay to hire the venue, audience don't pay to come in, venue takes the bar. It can work. The Pilgrim, where I was based, did really well, smashing all their targets.

All in all I spent about £1500 squid, not even a fraction of what some of these shows must have cost. It also helped that all the other guys in my venue were really helpful and pitched in with flyering, and regular pick-me-up support etc. Made The Pilgrim a decent place to work at. Large up Soundman Davey Jones, Gecko (best flyer-er in the game mate!) Jake Wildhall, Joel Autterson and all the Boomerang Club crew, Harry Baker and Chris, Robert Garnham, Dave and Byron and of course all of the Pilgrim staff who were all really supportive.

Second week picked up and I got a lot better at flyering and generally pulling people in etc. All the additional gigs helped too, Boomerang, Stand Up and Slam, Raise The Bar, Prepare To Fail. Felt like I got a into a good swing with it and the audiences were good too, generally really responsive. My mate Gary From Leeds said to me before we went up that things would start slow then pick up, and he was right. He was right about most things up there, though I did manage to persuade him that chips in curry sauce was better than chips in gravy, eventually he came round and he’s Northern. Had a reviewer come in from Broadway Baby who gave me a decent 4 star 0eview which I was chuffed about. Have a butchers here

Also somewhere in the second week I had a nice chat about it all with Paul McMenemy from Lunar Poetry. As always, I talked to much. I'd just done a show so my voice was a bit raspy. It was fun though. Have a listen HERE

The last week was wicked. Audiences were good and I felt like I knew what I was doing by this point. There was bit of a dip on one or two days but from what I'd heard this was felt throughout the festival. Couple of people said to me that in general numbers were down on previous years, something to do with The Olympics or Great British Bake Off or some other nonsense.

I really enjoyed the chats I got to have most days, out and about on the streets, with other performers, punters etc. Big up Bob Walshy Walsh, who I had a good chinwag with most days about all things football and South London. When out flyering, it's a bit like a melty version of The Wire, on the street, all hand signals and that, communicating to the other flyerers, working out the punters movements and who's likely to want to take a flyer. It was thoughts like that which kept me amused on the slow days. But yea, in the end it all went well.

The last show was by far the biggest and most generous audience I'd had and it was great to go out on a banger. Had another decent review from a young reviewer too by the name of Ben Huxley, have a butcher's here (though both Dominic Berry and I had a bit of giggle about the unlikely comparison.) Though I got to perform too lots of new and different people, I was chuffed that on most days there was someone I knew in the audience, a lot who took me by surprise. I had a lot of friends and family who came all the way up. Conrad, Fez and Junior came twice! Mum, Dad and Nat flew up just for the day. Met some really great people to, some who also came twice, like this really nice family from Cambridge, two of which were teachers. Had a lot of teachers. Big up Riko and family too. Thankyou, all of you, even the one or two rude ones who didn’t pay any attention and were talking or playing on their phones throughout. Don't understand why you do that when you can just get up leave, it's Free Fringe innit, but still, you interest and annoy me in equal measure.

Special mention must go to all the residents of Poetry House. My flatmates for the duration of the festival. Had a great time staying with these guys, all the nonsense chats in the kitchen and the many pick-me-ups along the way. Fay Roberts (got to do the best / worst / weirdest gig with Fay), Dominic Berry,(ahhhhhhhhhhh football-style audience support) Alexander Rhodes, Hannah Chutzpah all the various poets and mates of mates who came up and stayed, and of course my roomate, Gary From Leeds. Legend,mate. Helped me all the way back from last year, to get my arse up there and pull it off. In that tiny cabin room that stank of damp towels, we had a good laugh, through the good times and the bad. Highlight of the Fringe for me was when Gary rescued a component from my beard trimmer from off of the roof, using gaffer tape, a brolly, a broom and sheer MacGyver like skills.

So yea, all in all, I had a wonderful time, high and lows, old friends, euphoria and sadness, new friends and a lot of laughs. Would I do it all again? Probably. Yes. Dunno...ask me in 6 months mate.

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