The approved future has begun to fail, but Christopher still has no other future to put in its place.

So he climbs into a van bound for Hurricane Katrina relief with men, jokes, hard work, and one private hope: maybe distance can make him fit better.

The trip has no intention of cooperating.

In this part of From Before I Had a Flag, Christopher and Eric revisit a disaster-relief trip that became an accidental masculinity field test. There is retail volunteer work, a van full of men, bad jokes, social discomfort, and the strange experience of being the last person officially informed of something everyone else seemed to think was obvious.

This is not the triumphant coming-out episode. It is the moment before the future changes, when the evidence is gathering but the life beyond it still looks impossible.

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