Reflections on taking ourselves more seriously.

This month we talk the return of FHWL and what that actually means, lol.

Subscribe to the full publication at https://fhwl.substack.com/

On my heart this week.

🕸️ dusts cobwebs from the screen 🕸️

Hey, beautiful people 👋🏾! Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of From Holley, With Love on Substack 🥳🎊🥂. Thank you for choosing to commune here with me!

I’m back after a slightly abrupt but much-needed spring hiatus. A lotttttt has transpired since March. I took my propensity for doing the most to new heights and the message waiting for me when I realized I was in the exhausting pattern of overachieving again was — “stop collecting things to do and make yourself at home.”

In this edition’s micropodcast (press play up top ☝🏾 to listen), I share more about my time away and what it taught me about finding focus, relational integrity, minding my business, and what it means to make myself at home. I’ve been clearing my plate to settle in and tend to the places calling me to do that the most like…

* Our budding homestead here in Winston Salem. The summer garden is in bloom and we’re praying for a fruitful harvest. We’ve got some design and renovation projects in the works, too.

* Non-client-facing creative projects that I’ve put on the back burner for far too long like my MSc coursework and venturing into TV with a docuseries I’m developing.

* Relationships with my Beloveds! That means more trips to visit them and break bread, kiking on the phone for hours, and enriching moments of deep vulnerability.

* This space, here, with you. I’d like to show up more consistently and better manage things falling through the cracks. So, I got myself organized and created an editorial calendar and project plan through the end of September that’ll help me stick to a biweekly cadence.

How y’all been? What’s calling you to make yourself at home right now?

Come talk to me in the comments (or in my inbox), I’d love to hear from you.

Gifts for your growth.

* 🌱 Some of you are new here and some of you have been kickin’ it for a few months or more ( 👋🏾💐 and thank you!). Either way, I’m dreaming up new ways to tell stories that add a little value to your world through this publication, and I’d love to get to know you better. Got a few minutes to answer a short survey about FHWL? If so, click here.

* 📖 Back in March I did an interview with Authority Magazine for their “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Began Leading My Company” series. It was a couple of weeks before the 7-year anniversary of my creative studio, and it felt amazing to reflect on and share what got us here.

* 📺 Esther Perel’s CreativeMornings talk is one of my favorites. She shares her lens on how relational intelligence can guide us in nurturing our well-being and success both at home and work. I’ve been ruminating on this one for a while.

Fuel for the week ahead.

* 🍿Can we talk about Everything Everywhere All at Once for a second? IT’S. SO. GOOD. The best movie I’ve seen in a while. I’m still thinking about it weeks later. If you haven’t had a chance to see it yet, watch it in theaters, if you can.

* In celebration of Juneteenth earlier this month, I connected with Black entrepreneurs on the Upwork platform in a conversation about freedom, interdependence, and the future of work. And I got to share some reflections on work, time, and meaning-making. You can watch the sneak peek below and check out the full discussion here.

* I’ve been sitting with this edition’s Seven Bops playlist since April. It’s a sexy, sultry, watery vibe that I really enjoy losing myself in. I hope y’all do, too. Listen to it on Apple Music or Spotify.

See you in July ❤️,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

Monday I submitted my answers for an upcoming magazine interview and one of the questions was: Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?

We’ve been down that road here in FHWL before and the first thing that came to mind was that the best way to thrive and not burn out is to remember that we are not workers, labor, talent, we’re human. Life gives work meaning. So instead of rehashing old guidance, I phoned an ancestor — Toni Morrison. In my response I shared an excerpt from her 2017 essay, The Work You Do, the Person You Are. Recounting advice from a conversation with her father about a troublesome job, she wrote: 

1. Whatever the work is, do it well—not for the boss but for yourself.2. You make the job; it doesn’t make you.3. Your real life is with us, your family.4. You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.

As I wrap up my yearlong stint as Creative Researcher-in-Residence at WeTransfer, get back into dissertation writing mode, and prepare for the next big leaps in my career, Morrison’s prose is heavy on my heart this week. So much so that in lieu of one of my normal reflections, in this edition’s micropodcast (press play up top to listen ☝🏾), I read the full piece aloud so we can chew on it together.

Give it a read (link below) and meet me in the comments or my inbo with your thoughts!

Gifts for your growth.

* 💎 Here’s the Toni Morrison piece I referenced above and in the micropodcast.

* 💡 My good friend and all around gem of a human, Alice Grandoit-Sutka, sat down with the Creative Independent to discuss “defining your social practice, making time for what you want to do, the value of print media, and learning through ritual and repetition.” Read the full convo here.

Fuel for the week ahead.

* 🕺🏿💃 This Iman Shumpert and Daniella Karagach performance from Dancing With the Stars lives rent-free in my head. I don’t know Iman personally but I adore the way he centers interdisciplinarity in his pursuits. Not solely husband…or father…or rapper…or athlete and NBA champion…or clothing designer…or entrepreneur — but all of those “titles” (and more) at once.

* 🎧 🎶 I’ve been carving out a lot more intentional time for music discovery lately and this installment of Seven Bops is a sweet little genre mashup. Listen to it on Apple Music or Spotify.

See y’all in two weeks for the next edition!

Love always,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to live the life which they’ve imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." —  Henry David Thoreau

I’ve been reciting this quote aloud for the past couple weeks. Letting it make a home in my body, in my heart. Especially in light of Dad’s near death experience with COVID.

Though sometimes jarring AF, it’s interesting how grounding the idea of endings can be. You know they’re coming…but you don’t when…and then one day you’re reminded that it could be any day now. It reorients you to what’s really important. Makes it simple to separate the urgent from the trivial. Lights a fire under your ass. Challenges you to consider what it’ll take to advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.

I’m in the thick of that challenge now and it has me unpacking three big questions:

* What am I doing with my time and where am I placing my bets?

* Are those bets worth the wager?

* How do I gracefully close the chapter(s) on the ones that aren’t?

In this edition’s micropodcast (press play up top to listen☝🏾), in the spirit of telling the most honest stories I can, I share more about how I’m answering those questions, what’s coming up for me in the process and how I’m channeling the courage to bet on myself.

What about y’all — how are you betting on yourselves this week, month, year?

Meet me in the comments and let’s talk about it!

Gifts for your growth.

* Getting to work on projects with my life partner is such a blessing. Today our new Skillshare Chroma Course launches and there’s still a few seats left. Over the next 4 weeks we’ll guide a cohort of creators through the process of moving from idea to execution. It includes weekly live sessions, individualized feedback, and a Slack community to problem solve with.

* Mailchimp teamed up with Kin to put together this really dope digital magazine called Bloom Season to “help entrepreneurs of color realize their ambitions and rewrite the blueprint for small business success.”

Fuel for the week ahead.

* ❤️ Me and Kholi chopped it up about love on the latest ep of our boo Katie’s podcast. We got into all the different layers of our relationship as married business partners, moving from codependency to interdependency, and how + why we continue to make a way. Listen on Apple or Spotify.

* 💐 Paper Monday recently released a short story experience called Halfway North and it’s so damn gorgeous and inspiring. I’ve been texting the link to the homies since I saw it so you know I had to share it with y’all, too. Check it out.

* 🎧 🎶 Seven Bops playlist is back! Sticking with the theme of betting on yourself, this one is curated to put a battery in your back in any moments when you find yourself doubting your gifts or calling. Listen to it on Apple or Spotify.

Wishing y’all an abundant week ahead.

See you in two weeks for the next edition!

Love always,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

Whew. I lost myself quite a few times over the past eight weeks but I’m finally out of the woods and it’s so good to be back, y’all.

The last time we spoke in October, I told you about my decision to defer my graduate school studies. That choice gave me some much needed breathing room and the space to slow down and establish a healthier, more sustainable life pace.

The thing is — I didn’t breathe deeply or slow down much at all. In fact, I did quite the opposite. I accelerated. PEDAL TO THE FLO 🏎️. A week after I deferred, I went to Amsterdam to visit my colleagues at WeTransfer and regroup on a big endeavor we’re conjuring.

While I was in town, I did the absolute most. Across four days, I had 20-ish meetings, coaching calls, lunch catchups, ideation & strategy sessions, and my first solo presentation at the company All Hands. Mix that with jet lag, minimal hydration, late nights romancing the city and no exercise, and you’ve got yourself the perfect recipe for burnout. And burn out I did. I was a wreck.⁣

In the FHWL survey, many of you asked that I share more about my growing pains and ins and outs of my creative practice. So, this week on the micropodcast (press play up top ☝🏾 to listen), I shed light on my run-in with burnout, the road to recovery, the clarity stillness is bringing me and how I’m shifting my habits to operationalize my life.

I’d love to hear from y’all on this, too.

How have you avoided, navigated or recovered from burnout? And how are you designing the life that you want?

Meet me in the comments and let’s talk about it!

P.S. — Going forward, I’ll be publishing the FHWL newsletter biweekly instead of every Monday. The next edition will be in your inbox on January 3, 2022 ❤️.

Gifts for your growth.

* I was talking to my friend Wes today about betting on myself and my ideas more. PRAXIS. is one I’ve been sitting on for a few months. I shared this image for it on IG the other day:

Through a combo of lightning talks & special guest interviews, hot seat coaching, intimate breakout rooms and moderated Q&A, I designed it for us to do more of what we did as children: get messy, ask questions, get feedback, show & tell, throw ideas on a wall, take them apart, see what sticks and grow without fear of ridicule or failure.⁣If you’re not on holiday break yet, and you’re interested in getting strategic guidance on your career and creative growth while co-working and moving ideas forward in a nurturing environment, click this link to come practice with me. And use the code FHWL for 25% off 🎁.

* While we’re on the subject of burnout this week, here’s a convo I filmed with Skillshare that’s applicable for not only entrepreneurs but anyone who works.

* ⚡This blog post (thanks, Malori!) about the four energy zones helped me rethink what my days look like and how I’m devoting time.

Fuel for the week ahead.

* ✨ Moses Sumney’s new album Blackalachia released earlier this month with a full-length live conceptual performance film. It’s breathtakingly good and premiered on WePresent with a beautiful interview by Doreen St. Félix.

* ✌🏾I love reading and hearing stories about why people quit jobs. No Sugar, No Cream magazine has an interview series on the theme and this one with Ashley Johnson is a great read.

* 🎧 🎶 One more playlist to round out the year. You can find this week’s Seven Bops on Apple Music or Spotify.

Wishing y’all an abundant week ahead and a satiating wrap to 2021.

See you in the new year!

Love always,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

After a best of three rounds wrestling match with my ego, my Higher self took the wheel last Sunday when I made the decision to defer my graduate studies. I’d been resisting the choice for weeks because somewhere along the way, I started to believe that postponement was synonymous with failure but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s fascinating how no matter the cost, if you’re not careful, blind ambition can trick you into racing toward impossible finish lines for the promise of a prize it can’t deliver on. Because I’m clear that I am so much more than what I produce, there is no reward (or sense) in competing in the validation olympics.

The minute I hit send on the email to my programme director to let him know that a good old fashioned come to Jesus moment brought me back to what was real, I felt immediate relief. It was liberating and challenged me to zoom out and look at all the pieces of the puzzle that have made this dissertation journey fun and worthwhile thus far — and all the moving (and often neglected) parts of my life that my fixation on the end result instead of the process made it difficult to be fully present for.

Needless to say, I’m excited to be present again while taking my time to make and share the behind the scenes of something I care deeply about. This week in the micropodcast (press play up top), I shared more about my choice to defer and invite you to consider this with me — what does it look like to honor the process as the prize and how are you making space to do more of that as we round out the calendar year?

Gifts for your growth.

🌱 Please keep the FHWL survey responses coming! I’ve been sinking my teeth into all the candid answers and I love hearing from y’all, learning about what you’re up to, and getting your feedback for the next iteration of the newsletter. If you’ve got 10-15 minutes to weigh in, click here to take part in the survey.

🔥 A Profession Is Not a Personality — a beautifully timely essay on the dangers of self-objectification and reduction in the workplace.

Fuel for the week ahead.

📥 I spotted this post on IG last week and absolutely love this email auto-reply. I hope it serves as inspo for you to reclaim your time (+inbox) and help steer us all away from a “culture of irrational immediacy.”

💎 Shout out to my friend Wes for putting this interview on my radar. Music executive and entrepreneur, Ibrahim ‘IB’ Hamad, takes us behind the curtain of his journey to building Dreamville Records with J. Cole and the lessons learned along the way about self-belief, execution, partnership, creative confidence, succeeding/defining success \ and more. So many gems!

“Every time something feels scary, it’s usually where the best idea is at. There’s magic in that risk. And there’s magic in that fear.”

🎧 🎶 The Seven Bops playlist is back and I’ve been spinning this set of songs for the past couple days. Perfect for a pensive mood or a barefoot slow dance. Find it on Apple Music or Spotify.

Wishing y’all an abundant week ahead. See you next Monday!

Love always,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

Goodness gracious. It took me a couple weeks but I’m finally back in the swing of sending out FHWL on Mondays! This week’s micropodcast is a little longer than normal so I’m keeping the written brief short and sweet because I’m 4 days away from submitting my dissertation (insert body roll here) and I reallllly need to focus!

On the heels of an incredible birthday celebration that I won’t soon forget, this reminder greeted me today...

The message came earlier this month and something told me to write it down and place it somewhere highly visible, so it’s been living on a post-it on my desk. If spring is the season for cleaning out closets to make room, fall is an opportune time for tightening up for the harvest. With regard to family, friends, work, play and all that finds itself at home in between, I’m being called to reexamine and act on what it means for me to do just that.

What I do know for sure is, in all that I choose to devote myself to, who I choose to serve and be in community with, see and be seen by — all of those choices need to be made with love, integrity, care, presence, honesty, consistency, discipline and vulnerability. I’m excited to reinforce how my actions can continue to align with and speak louder than these words.

And you know I’m not gonna chew on a question without offering you a bite as well so, this week I invite you to consider — where can you stand to tighten up a little (or a lot)?

Gifts for your growth.

🌱 Thanks to those of you who’ve completed the FHWL survey thus far! As I conjure up the next iteration of the newsletter, I would love to get to know you better and design it with you in mind. If you’d like to weigh in, the survey is still open, just click here.

💎 On being available for the work you were meant to make.

Writer Casey Gerald discusses not worrying about defining yourself, memory as palimpsest, the importance of having a variety of jobs before you make creative work, and the ways in which our lives are our biggest projects.

Fuel for the week ahead.

🕋 I never need to look too far for inspiration. Powered by the belief that “archiving is a statement of value,” my friends over at the Gates Preserve have been producing some multimedia projects that are changing the way stories are told and culture is preserved. I tried to pick one of my favorite projects but nah — just check out their archival, experiential, and media portfolio and choose your own adventure.

🎧 🎶 The Seven Bops playlist will be back next week but lemme tell youuuuu about this jazz album that’s my “tighten up” soundtrack right now. Theo Croker’s BLK2LIFE // A FUTURE PAST released on Friday and my God, it is delightful. It feels like sonic encouragement. Find it here on the streaming platform of your choice.

Wishing y’all an abundant week ahead. See you next Monday!

Love always,

HMKM

Note: Though this week’s edition of FHWL was published on Saturday, 092521, the micropodcast was recorded on Monday, 092021.

On my heart this week.

On Monday I celebrated my 38th birthday and got a visit from a praying mantis.

I’m always curious about the wisdom that nature and the animal kingdom bring, so I flipped through my Animal Speak book to figure out what the mantis symbolizes — the power of stillness. In this edition’s micropodcast I read the full passage that goes into more detail and this particular part has been holding my attention:

…it teaches how to still the outer so that when it is time to act in any form, it is done with surety, accuracy and great power…Mantis comes from a Greek word meaning Prophet. If we learn to go into the stillness, we can open ourselves to prophecy.

Since the mantis sighting and the mesmerizing Full Moon on Monday, I feel like I entered a portal to a new dimension. In the stillness within it, I’m finding so much clarity and peace. I’ve been flooded with these vivid visions of what’s to come, I’m recalling memories I’d buried, and have transported to moments across timelines that are helping me make sense of the human experience.

To say the least, it’s been a lot. And as I lean into my annual ritual of birthday reflection, it’s making me very present to two big questions that I’m journaling on over the weekend:

* What am I cultivating for the year to come?

* How am I savoring the moment?

Gifts for your growth.

🌱 This edition of FHWL marks 3 months (!!!) since I switched to this format. A full quarter. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be in conversation with you every week. As I dream up new ways to tell stories and (hopefully) add a little value to your world through the newsletter, I would love to get to know you better. Can you click here and take a few minutes to complete a short FHWL survey? I'm looking forward to learning more about you!

💎 After winning an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie (I May Destroy You), Michaela Coel’s acceptance speech gave big praying mantis energy. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s worth the watch.

Fuel for the week(end) ahead.

🎞️ Back in April, this brilliant writer and musician named Topaz Jones released one of my favorite projects of the year, Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma (an album + Sundance award-winning short film).

The rollout had me and Adrian like…

The short film was only showing for a limited time but now it’s available via the New York Times’ OpDocs channel here. Please take 30~ish minutes to indulge.

🎧 🎶 Now that Aaliyah’s full catalog is streaming on all music platforms, this week’s playlist is inspired by my favorite song of hers, It’s Whatever. The tracklist is full of some 90s and early 2000s R&B bops. Listen to it on Apple Music and Spotify.

Have a great weekend and I’ll see y’all on Monday ❤️.

Love always,

HMKM

On my heart this week.

My friend Brian and I made this video back in 2016 to start to tell the story of my creative studio, Oratory Glory.

The business has gone through about six iterations since then, but my intent has always been to produce work that inspires people to deliberately champion their gifts, apply those gifts to spark change, and savor and share the fruits of those choices.

With the help of a fellow wordsmith (hi, Ariana!), OG’s tagline became own your voice, leave your mark. A not so subtle mantra and call to action that I’ve danced with regularly over the years but even more so lately as my most cherished relationships (and my capacity for love) continue to expand.

Work used to be my primary source of love. In my early stages of entrepreneurship, I convinced myself that work would never let me down. I charged up there and rationed how much I was willing to offer in relationships outside of it. Not the most sustainable way of existing in the world, I admit. It worked really well though, until it didn’t. I started to feel empty in places that inanimate objects could never fill. And it forced me to reinvest in human connection with genuine trust and vulnerability. Now that I’m no longer a cyborg and am well-practiced at being emotionally available to more than just the insentient, I’m attracting and giving the most profound love of my life to date. Whewwww, it’s juicy, y’all. My relationships all across the board — platonic, romantic, familial and otherwise — are an overflowing well of generative love. And because I want my legacy to be a reflection of that love; how I work, when I work, who I work with, and what I work on/for is shifting dramatically.

As I explore what it looks like for me to further own my voice and leave my mark, this week I’m leaning deeper into the question:

How can love be the catalyst and currency for how I make choices around work?

Gifts for your growth.

🌑 Yesterday ushered in a fresh new moon in Virgo. It’s the perfect time to plant seeds for the month and season ahead. In my own creative and spiritual practice, I feel the most grounded and on purpose when I’m setting intentions in alignment with the phases of the moon. If that sounds even a smidge intriguing to you, Chani Nicholas always puts together a dope synthesis of the moon’s theme(s) paired with affirmation horoscopes. Check it out here.

🤝🏾 As I wrap up with my dissertation in the coming days, I’ve been thinking about the work I’m most excited about returning to. I really miss supporting folks 1-on-1 with creative ideation, personal narrative development, and charting pathways for the work of their dreams. So, I’m currently scheduling strategic coaching sessions for October and November 2021. My style is hype woman, meets creative & analytical thought partner, meets radically transparent mirror. If you’re interested in learning more about session options, click here.

Fuel for the week ahead.

We’re doubling up on the music this time around:

🎸 One of my favorite musicians, Tom Misch, released an EP called Quarantine Sessions on Friday. It’s the most beautiful project I’ve listened to this summer. I couldn’t choose just one song to add to Seven Bops so I’m sharing the entire thing. Click here to find it on your favorite streaming service.

🎧 🎶 Shout out to my wife, Kholi, for co-curating this week’s Seven Bops playlist with me. Listen to it on Apple Music and Spotify.

Until next Monday, I’m wishing y’all an abundant week ahead.

Love always,

HMKM

P.S. - All past Seven Bops playlists have officially been added to Spotify (thank you, Malori ❤️).