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From Journalist to Chief Grief Officer: Barri Leiner Grant on Learning to Live Alongside Loss
Grief isn’t something we just “get over.” It’s something we learn to live alongside, and when we give it space, it can actually open the door to deeper connection and growth. That’s the heart of Barri Leiner Grant’s work. She’s a grief coach, educator, and the founder of The Memory Circle, where she guides people in tending to loss with honesty, compassion, and ritual.
Barri’s story begins with the sudden passing of her mother, an experience that changed everything and eventually led her to create the kind of support she once needed herself. In our conversation, she shares how memory circles came to life, why naming our loved ones matters, and what it means to “tend” grief instead of trying to recover from it. We talk about practices like writing, yoga, meditation, and simple rituals that can carry us through the waves of loss whether that loss is death, divorce, miscarriage, or any life transition that leaves us changed.
This isn’t a heavy conversation about sadness. It’s about finding hope in the middle of heartbreak, and about reclaiming the right to honor our stories, our people, and our emotions in ways that feel true.
Episode Highlights:
- [02:23] Barri Leiner Grant is introduced as a certified grief coach, educator, and founder of The Memory Circle.
- [02:50] She shares how her mother’s sudden passing in 1993 became the catalyst for her life’s work and recalls how no one named her grief or offered support.
- [06:21] Barri explains why talking about loved ones matters, describing silence as a “second death,” and how connection with other motherless daughters brought healing.
- [08:21] Hope Edelman’s Motherless Daughters normalizes her experience and shows her she isn’t alone.
- [09:37] Therapy helps her reframe her grief story and understand the importance of being asked, “Do you want to talk to someone?”
- [11:09] Becoming pregnant highlights the pain of being a “motherless mother” and leads her to seek a grief-informed therapist.
- [14:15] A yoga training exercise inspires her to imagine her highest work, sparking the idea of grief circles.
- [15:15] She co-creates “Unmothered Mother’s Day” to honor mothers while supporting those grieving.
- [16:37] The circles evolve into powerful wisdom exchanges that validate shared stories and experiences.
- [18:25] The Memory Circle is born, combining collaboration, storytelling, and community rituals.
- [21:55] Training deepens her work, and she embraces the title Chief Grief Officer as a way of giving people permission to grieve.
- [24:09] She encourages using loved ones’ names in conversation to keep them present and honored.
- [25:24] Barri recalls her mother’s message, “don’t make it sad,” and describes her role as a hope dealer.
- [27:09] She explains why she uses the term “grief tending” instead of “grief recovery,” reframing loss as something we live with.
- [29:16] Barri paints a picture of what a Memory Circle looks like, from breathwork and writing to sharing names and small wins.
- [32:23] She shares how she balances holding space for others while tending to her own grief, using practices like yoga, meditation, and Reiki.
- [34:08] Crying is reframed as a powerful release, and she reminds us that grief isn’t something we get over but something we learn to live alongside.
- [36:42] She broadens the conversation to include non-death losses such as divorce, miscarriage, moving, and empty nesting.
- [39:16] Rituals like lighting candles or creating memorials become ways to honor losses both big and small.
- [41:01] She shares tools like expressive writing, ethical wills, meditation, and nature practices that support grief work.
- [44:17] Barri offers guidance on preparing for grief’s waves during anniversaries, holidays, and everyday triggers.
- [46:13] She advises putting hallmark dates on calendars and using both simple and creative rituals to honor loved ones.
- [1:10:42] Barri shares details about upcoming events, including a three-part workshop on empty nesting, a grief camp at Kripalu, and her regular support circles
- [1:11:29] She mentions launching a new “Right to Heal” group focused on prompt-led writing and a partner loss group.
Resources & Links:
- Seekers Field Guide
- Seekers Field Guide Community
- The Memory Circle
- Barri Leiner Grant - Instagram
- Motherless Daughters, 20th Anniversary Edition: The Legacy of Loss
View all episodes
By Kerri SchoonyoungGrief isn’t something we just “get over.” It’s something we learn to live alongside, and when we give it space, it can actually open the door to deeper connection and growth. That’s the heart of Barri Leiner Grant’s work. She’s a grief coach, educator, and the founder of The Memory Circle, where she guides people in tending to loss with honesty, compassion, and ritual.
Barri’s story begins with the sudden passing of her mother, an experience that changed everything and eventually led her to create the kind of support she once needed herself. In our conversation, she shares how memory circles came to life, why naming our loved ones matters, and what it means to “tend” grief instead of trying to recover from it. We talk about practices like writing, yoga, meditation, and simple rituals that can carry us through the waves of loss whether that loss is death, divorce, miscarriage, or any life transition that leaves us changed.
This isn’t a heavy conversation about sadness. It’s about finding hope in the middle of heartbreak, and about reclaiming the right to honor our stories, our people, and our emotions in ways that feel true.
Episode Highlights:
- [02:23] Barri Leiner Grant is introduced as a certified grief coach, educator, and founder of The Memory Circle.
- [02:50] She shares how her mother’s sudden passing in 1993 became the catalyst for her life’s work and recalls how no one named her grief or offered support.
- [06:21] Barri explains why talking about loved ones matters, describing silence as a “second death,” and how connection with other motherless daughters brought healing.
- [08:21] Hope Edelman’s Motherless Daughters normalizes her experience and shows her she isn’t alone.
- [09:37] Therapy helps her reframe her grief story and understand the importance of being asked, “Do you want to talk to someone?”
- [11:09] Becoming pregnant highlights the pain of being a “motherless mother” and leads her to seek a grief-informed therapist.
- [14:15] A yoga training exercise inspires her to imagine her highest work, sparking the idea of grief circles.
- [15:15] She co-creates “Unmothered Mother’s Day” to honor mothers while supporting those grieving.
- [16:37] The circles evolve into powerful wisdom exchanges that validate shared stories and experiences.
- [18:25] The Memory Circle is born, combining collaboration, storytelling, and community rituals.
- [21:55] Training deepens her work, and she embraces the title Chief Grief Officer as a way of giving people permission to grieve.
- [24:09] She encourages using loved ones’ names in conversation to keep them present and honored.
- [25:24] Barri recalls her mother’s message, “don’t make it sad,” and describes her role as a hope dealer.
- [27:09] She explains why she uses the term “grief tending” instead of “grief recovery,” reframing loss as something we live with.
- [29:16] Barri paints a picture of what a Memory Circle looks like, from breathwork and writing to sharing names and small wins.
- [32:23] She shares how she balances holding space for others while tending to her own grief, using practices like yoga, meditation, and Reiki.
- [34:08] Crying is reframed as a powerful release, and she reminds us that grief isn’t something we get over but something we learn to live alongside.
- [36:42] She broadens the conversation to include non-death losses such as divorce, miscarriage, moving, and empty nesting.
- [39:16] Rituals like lighting candles or creating memorials become ways to honor losses both big and small.
- [41:01] She shares tools like expressive writing, ethical wills, meditation, and nature practices that support grief work.
- [44:17] Barri offers guidance on preparing for grief’s waves during anniversaries, holidays, and everyday triggers.
- [46:13] She advises putting hallmark dates on calendars and using both simple and creative rituals to honor loved ones.
- [1:10:42] Barri shares details about upcoming events, including a three-part workshop on empty nesting, a grief camp at Kripalu, and her regular support circles
- [1:11:29] She mentions launching a new “Right to Heal” group focused on prompt-led writing and a partner loss group.
Resources & Links:
- Seekers Field Guide
- Seekers Field Guide Community
- The Memory Circle
- Barri Leiner Grant - Instagram
- Motherless Daughters, 20th Anniversary Edition: The Legacy of Loss