Key Points, Top Takeaways, and Memorable Quotes

“What you should be intending at the end of the season when you walk into the locker room you’re either crying out sorrow or crying out of joy, but at least if you’re doing that, it means your team is fully invested.” -Russell, Quoting Coach K @ 3:05

“That agility and ability to adapt is the hallmark of a real icon.” -Wendy @ 4:57

“There’s not a team I’ve watched that represents their community like St. Peters.” 7:50

“Coaches need great players more than great players need coaches.” 9:22

“A great coach can take a great athlete and make them a better person.” -Wendy @ 10:04

“Three things that are essential for moving someone from potential talent to performance on stage at their best are technique, discipline, then performing on demand.” 12:30

“Coaches really have to look at understanding their own conception of failure and what that means to them because the last thing that you want is for failure to create a situation where kids can’t succeed or can't be effective.”  18:09

“Can we as parents and coaches provide access for our players, for our children to one, figure out what they love to do, give them opportunities to do that, to experience that.  Then once they find something that they love to do, how are we able to put them in positions where they’re getting enough positive experiences where it builds on itself and crescendos and there’s momentum building for them to follow it wherever it goes.” 30:00

“Where we find ourselves now in society or how we view wins and losses, success and failure, is making this assumption that what kids are doing is a reflection of you being a great parent or a great coach. I tell coaches all the time you understand that you are basing your happiness and your sense of worth on 15, 16, 17, and 18-year-olds.” 34:12

“We have to make the process, although hard, we have to make it fun.” 35:31

“You can have your best game, best game plan, kids are on it, they’re executing, they’re playing together, and you can still lose the game.” 39:32

“There has to be a certain level of obsessiveness to master something.” 40:24

“Isn’t that what we want for all our kids, whether you're a coach or a parent, you want them to feel enriched by what they are doing, you want it to become a part of them.” 42:29

“One of the things we often talk about is the concept of safe people or safe places.” 50:35

“You look at sports and you look at teams, you look at the coach-player relationship, you want to create a safe place for kids to be able to operate.  You want to create safe relationships between athletes and coaches so that real growth can happen.” 53:22

“What is your main intent; to demonstrate your anger that they’re not doing something, or they’re doing it wrong or helping them to do it right? 57:42

“If we’re not asking the right questions, if we’re not identifying what’s really happening inside us or around us, then whatever collaboration or solution that we come up with, it will always miss the mark.” 1:02:03

“Wisdom is pattern recognition.” -Wendy quoting Chip Conley @ 1:02:42

“Our mission as coaches is to serve the greater good of our players, not our own selfish ego.” -Wendy quoting Russell @ 1:05:47

“When one player or a group within the team is treated with different rules than the rest of the players, coach-player trust is broken and the team will fracture in pressure moments that will require team unity.” -Wendy quoting Russell @ 1:06:12

“I have no problem, as a coach, taking an L if it meant that in the long run, the team would function better.  I have no problem taking an L and not having a player play if it emphasizes to that player the importance of being a good teammate,or being on time, or treating your teammates well.  It comes back to that self-awareness thing.” 1:12:26

“It’s about being in the moment and then doing the next right thing.” -Wendy @ 1:36:47

“Through this whole process, I just realized that I’m high strung.” 1:39:12

“Giving yourself permission to forgive yourself. Give yourself permission to say okay, that wasn’t a great choice.” 1:40:53

Guest Bio

Russell Raypon is a credentialed school psychologist in Fresno, California, coaching consultant, author, and Associate Head Coach for Boys Varsity Basketball for the Washington Union High School Panthers. Over his 20 plus years in education and coaching youth, travel, and high school basketball teams, Russell has had the privilege of coaching NBA Champions, collegiate athletes, as well as rocket scientists, lawyers, teachers, nurses, and epidemiologists. A believer in developing the whole person, Coach Raypon takes immense pride in the personal and professional success of all his current and former players.

Show Notes

0:00 - What I Meant to Say Podcast Intro

0:18 - Introducing Russell Raypon

0:56 - Welcome 

1:49 - March Madness Recap

3:05 - Quoting Coach K

6:40 - Naming Luke is a March Madness Story

7:25 - Watching St. Peters Play

9:20 - Great Coaches Vs. Great Players

10:04 - Be Better

10:42 - Understanding Ego and Your Role

11:59 - Moving Potential to Performance

13:58 - Confidence in the Struggle

15:07 - A Parent's Perspective (Hopefully)

16:03 - Pause for MS School Announcement

16:38 - Why We’re so Afraid of Failure

18:53 - Appropriate Way to Handle Failure

19:47 - That One Thing from That One Coach

20:40 - Parenting AND Coaching

21:19 - Send the Text Before the Game

22:25 - Perspective Taking

23:06 - Milwaukee Bucks and the Greek Freak

24:32 - I’m Always Trying to Stay Humble. Hungry, and Happy

25:21 - Hungry and Driven to Be Better 

26:53 - Russell’s Family Background

28:18 - My Only Intent was to Be Around the Game

29:55 - Providing Access

31:01 - Take it Back to Character Strengths

33:04 - Filipino Family Culture

34:12 - Coaches Happiness and Self-Worth

35:42 - Used to Play Tennis

36:23 - When I Found Basketball, I Learned Everyday

38:02 - Discipline and Consistency

39:13 - The Concept of Mastery

41:28 - Francesca Dances Everywhere

42:44 - Defining Yourself as a Coach/Athlete

45:00 - Unlocking Identity and Potential

46:15 - Self-Awareness is an Underrated Skill

48:48 - Social Media and Junior High Struggle

50:10 - As a School Psychologist

52:25 - Interconnected Phone Games

53:22 - Sports Should Create a Safe Place

55:04 - Reading the Room is a Skill 

57:40 - Coach, What is Your Main Intent?

59:15 - Problem Blindness

1:01:03 - Being Proactive

1:02:21 - Wisdom is Pattern Recognition

1:03:33 - Assigning Blame

1:05:10 - Writing Connection

1:06:30 - Consistent Rules Affect Team Unity

1:08:17 - Socially Maladjusted vs. Emotionally Disturbed 

1:09:25 - Rules are Tough, but Necessary

1:10:15 - Transactional Relationships with Athletes Becomes Manipulative

1:12:25 - No Problem Taking an “L”

1:13:41 - It’s More About Character

1:14:44 - Can Anyone Really Be a Coach?

1:16:48 - “Winning Still: Essays from the Pandemic” Background

1:17:52 - Covid Isolation Forced My Introspection

1:18:25 - Professional Learning

1:20:58 - Writing a Book and a Blog

1:23:25 - Evolution of Book’s Perspective and Purpose

1:27:18 - Journaling as a Self-Awareness Exercise

1:29:07 - Moving to the Philippines with his son for basketball 

1:31:50 - Experience of Taking a Risk

1:35:01 - Expressing Happiness for Wendy

1:35:44 - The Concept of Be Better

1:37:59 - What I Meant to Say Moment

1:41:55 - Forgiveness is Freedom for You

1:42:30 - Some Level of Self-Acceptance

1:43:30 - How Do People Connect with You?

1:44:47 - Thank You and Signing Off

1:45:01 - WIMTS Podcast Closing

Links & Where to Find Russell  

Blog - Coach Russell’s Timeout - https://adrenaline.solutions/our-people/russell-raypon/

Book - “Winning Still”