Why don't central banks buy our companies' stocks and bonds? Should they fund mostly governments? And expand credit through banks? We look at central banks' role as a "funder of last resort." We find that investment increases when central banks buy private sector assets - except under a certain "sloth effect." We describe how law fails to give central banks the authority they need - and show how drafting a nominal GDP target objective directly into the central bank law helps promote investment and growth. For more: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3023795