Hello, universe (fake it 'til you make it). Sam here.

If my own mental process bespeaks broadly, you're probably in the mode of thinking that there won't come a time when Boris pops on the box and plainly announces it's time to unlock this -down. What started as a test of endurance will become a social experiment in obstinacy. The Guru keeps spurting increasingly incompatible proclamations - one by one, the formerly credulous will flee The Sanctuary and take their chances in The Nasty Outside of traffic lights and temptation. Only the deeply sycophantic and frightened, otherwise known as The True Believers, will remain as their erstwhile cultist colleagues sip cider in beer gardens.

This entire metaphor is of course moot because, in our case, The Nasty Outside poses actual and palpable risk.

Either way, I'll see you when we get sufficiently bored, to snort each other’s droplets and roll the mortal dice.

In this episode, I ‘ave a chinwag with Newportonian exile James Humphreys, now anchored in the Baltics and provoking chortles from the natives. The most prescient individual I know, James foresaw the pitchforks and torches on the horizon and scarpered before the matches were even lit. We talk about stand-up, the writing process and That Which You Can’t Not Discuss at the Moment If You’re Sentient. I’m aware of the double-negative, don’t quibble and make it a triple. You’re better than that, maybe.

Enjoy!