Welcome to this nominally Halloween edition of the podcast. Within/upon(?) this episode, the boys begin by adhering conservatively to my brief, before abandoning all commitment to theme and quarrelling over the frivolous.

As per their contract, however, which stipulates that 50% of all oratory intercourse must comply with my "theme assignments", I am obligated to retain their services. 'What is the Lesson here?' I reflexively ask.

Context of Lesson: a man keels over and drops a bag of potatoes in an Asda car park. You offer assistance. He tells you he suffers from sciatica and that he's a solicitor, the latter datum striking you as a non-sequitur, but okay. You stash the spuds in the boot. He tells you should you require any judicial aid in future, he will provide it gratis in what begins to resemble Freemasonry. You take his card. "Ignatius Pusk, Practicer at Law" is printed upon it in sanguine calligraphy, the lettering covering the colour spectrum in a design so unappealing it can only suggest total confidence in legal ability. When the time comes to draw up contracts for your burgeoning humour enterprise, you recall Ignatius Pusk.

Point of Lesson: Don't.