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Gaslighting at the IEP Table: How It Shows Up and How to Stop Doing It
In this eye-opening episode of The Affirming Village Podcast, Dr. Destiny Huff and Lisa Wright pull back the curtain on a phenomenon that leaves many families feeling disoriented and unheard: gaslighting at the IEP table. If you’ve ever walked out of a school meeting feeling like you’re in the "Twilight Zone," questioning your own reality despite having clear evidence of your child's needs, this conversation is for you.
Instead of assuming every disagreement is a simple misunderstanding, Destiny and Lisa name the subtle and overt patterns—both intentional and unintentional—that systems use to protect themselves at the expense of the learner. From weaponizing data to reframing valid parental concerns as mere "emotions," we’re unpacking how power dynamics dictate whose voice is believed and whose expertise is dismissed.
Inside this episode, we explore:
Intentional vs. Unintentional Gaslighting: Distinguishing between a team member who is trying to be "reassuring" and a system using "garbage" strategies to deny access and services.
The "Wait and Fail" Trap: Why families are told to "trust the process" while schools delay evaluations or ignore private data, effectively waiting for a child to fall behind before acting.
"Lisa is Well-Liked": A deep dive into how school staff often use surface-level reassurance to dismiss parent reports of social exclusion or "higher masking" struggles.
Habit vs. Law: Identifying when "well-ingrained habits" (the way we've always done it) are falsely presented as legal requirements or policy.
Comfort Items as Necessities: Why adult necessities—like coffee and planners—are the perfect analogy for why a child's sensory and comfort items are not "optional."
Weaponized Documentation: How predetermined language in assessments is used to steer parents away from necessary supports, such as 1:1 paraprofessionals.
Your observations are valid, and your lived experience as a caregiver is data. Whether you are a parent looking for validation or a school professional looking to do better by your students, this episode provides the tools to recognize gaslighting and stop it in its tracks.
Listen now on Spotify and join the village as we advocate for truth, validation, and centering the learner’s reality.
#TheAffirmingVillage #IEPGaslighting #SpecialEducation #Neuroaffirming #IEPMeeting #ParentAdvocacy #WaitAndFail #SpecialEdLaw #AdvocacyMatters #InclusiveEducation #HighMasking #AutismAdvocacy
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By Dr. Destiny Huff & Lisa Baskin WrightIn this eye-opening episode of The Affirming Village Podcast, Dr. Destiny Huff and Lisa Wright pull back the curtain on a phenomenon that leaves many families feeling disoriented and unheard: gaslighting at the IEP table. If you’ve ever walked out of a school meeting feeling like you’re in the "Twilight Zone," questioning your own reality despite having clear evidence of your child's needs, this conversation is for you.
Instead of assuming every disagreement is a simple misunderstanding, Destiny and Lisa name the subtle and overt patterns—both intentional and unintentional—that systems use to protect themselves at the expense of the learner. From weaponizing data to reframing valid parental concerns as mere "emotions," we’re unpacking how power dynamics dictate whose voice is believed and whose expertise is dismissed.
Inside this episode, we explore:
Intentional vs. Unintentional Gaslighting: Distinguishing between a team member who is trying to be "reassuring" and a system using "garbage" strategies to deny access and services.
The "Wait and Fail" Trap: Why families are told to "trust the process" while schools delay evaluations or ignore private data, effectively waiting for a child to fall behind before acting.
"Lisa is Well-Liked": A deep dive into how school staff often use surface-level reassurance to dismiss parent reports of social exclusion or "higher masking" struggles.
Habit vs. Law: Identifying when "well-ingrained habits" (the way we've always done it) are falsely presented as legal requirements or policy.
Comfort Items as Necessities: Why adult necessities—like coffee and planners—are the perfect analogy for why a child's sensory and comfort items are not "optional."
Weaponized Documentation: How predetermined language in assessments is used to steer parents away from necessary supports, such as 1:1 paraprofessionals.
Your observations are valid, and your lived experience as a caregiver is data. Whether you are a parent looking for validation or a school professional looking to do better by your students, this episode provides the tools to recognize gaslighting and stop it in its tracks.
Listen now on Spotify and join the village as we advocate for truth, validation, and centering the learner’s reality.
#TheAffirmingVillage #IEPGaslighting #SpecialEducation #Neuroaffirming #IEPMeeting #ParentAdvocacy #WaitAndFail #SpecialEdLaw #AdvocacyMatters #InclusiveEducation #HighMasking #AutismAdvocacy