In this raw and resonant episode, Carly and Hannah unpack the fraught realities of lesbian gatekeeping—especially toward late-in-life baby gays. Carly shares her powerful story of coming out in her 30s and the harm caused by exclusionary attitudes within the queer community, including an abusive relationship that fed on internalized shame. Together, they explore how gatekeeping intersects with trauma, disability, and the pressure to “prove” queerness. Plus, they close with some much-needed levity: lesbian fashion smash or pass. This episode is part memoir, part manifesto, and all heart. Listener discretion advised for themes of abuse, self-harm and sexual assault.

Books by Pia Mellody:

https://a.co/d/bwGQ05d

https://a.co/d/hMdt8hm

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This episode reflects my personal experiences and emotional truth. No names, identifying details, or professions are shared.

It is not intended to harm, accuse, or target any individual — but to process and speak openly about my own journey.

Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.

I believe in the right to share lived experiences without shame or censorship, and this episode is part of that process.