Jonathan Merker took part in so-called "gay conversion" ministries as a young college student. In this episode, we continue our three episode arc on culture and trauma as we discuss his journey out of a harmful religious culture and into his own career as a therapist, much in part due to the help of his own subversive counselor.

Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com

Episode 09: Gay Conversion

Psychotherapists John Totten and Mason Neely bring you this psychotherapy podcast that explores what is happening between therapists and patients, from both sides of the relationship.

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For Kj Swanson, an upbringing in Christian purity culture did not metabolize as trauma. It wasn’t until her queer awakening that she realized just how much it aligned with her identity. As an academic working in theology, Kj has always been interested in the heart of matters. This week, she discusses with John the various ways this commitment to meaning permeates her entire personality, including an emerging language signaling her place apart from compulsory sexuality.

Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely 
Music by Mason Neely 
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/ YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Episode 43: Ace Of Hearts

For our first guest in years, John speaks with his friend Caleb Williams, a fellow psychotherapist in Seattle. Over dinner, they discuss Caleb’s affinity to the British psychoanalyst Neville Symington, their thoughts on narcissism and the neediness of masculinity. Less of an interview and more a study in the relationship of friend/colleague, John and Caleb reminisce about their own camaraderie and make meaning of the current discourse as two oldest brothers grappling with their own ambivalence. 


Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/ 


Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely 
Music by Mason Neely 
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Episode 42: Brothers From Another Good Enough Mother

In the premiere of season five, our host John Totten checks in with co-producer Mason Neely as they reflect on the last season of Between Us, the hiatus that followed, and the boundaries of the therapeutic purview. In a meandering conversation, John and Mason look inward at their own creative and family lives and forward to the upcoming season, a collection of dialogues and reflections that, in spite of an aimless production, emerged as far more thematic than intended. 

 Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/ YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely Music by Mason Neely Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Episode 41: The Years Between Us

In the finale of our fourth season, John discusses therapeutic stance with Dr. Anton Hart who views openness as a key component of healing in the treatment room, especially in regard to societal trauma. Dr. Hart makes the case that foreknowledge is in opposition to curiosity and that curiosity is necessary to introduce new prospects to the therapeutic relationship. As a psychoanalyst, teacher and co-producer of the documentary Black Psychoanalysts Speak, Anton has a unique perspective on the usefulness of our language and how important it is to embrace complexity in a process that, when conducted with a posture of openness and curiosity, leads down endless paths of possibility. 

Support: www.patreon.com/betweenus
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Twitter: twitter.com/BetweenUsPod
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Episode 40: Radical Openness

Carlos Padrón personifies the concept of psychoanalysis as applied philosophy. As a Venezuelan living in New York, he has witnessed both the horrors of the pandemic and the projections of the immigrant experience. Both phenomena challenge our American fantasies of purity and pit us face to face with that which unsettles us as the uncanny takes form. In a broad-ranging interview recorded last summer, Carlos discusses the political potentiality of psychoanalysis, its invitation to new possibilities, and how it shatters the illusion of ahistorical origins. 


Support: www.patreon.com/betweenus
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Twitter: twitter.com/BetweenUsPod
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Episode 09: Gay Conversion

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