“The positive feelings you create help you to become more resilient towards stress.”

The state government has totally reopened Alabama all while new coronavirus cases are on the rise. Several other states have reopened and lifted the stay at home orders in an attempt to re-establish their economies. I think the reopening is too soon, and it is evident in the number of cases that are reported daily. Just as the cases are increasing, stress levels are also on the rise.

Before the virus invaded the world, folks were stressed, but now dealing with times we are in, we are even more stressed. Mental health issues are on the rise. Counselors and therapists are just as busy these days dealing with mental issues as doctors and first responders are busy dealing with coronavirus cases. People are struggling to get through each day.

We all have varying degrees of stress. Some of it we see it coming, and we can minimize the impact, while other times it takes us by surprise, and it is unavoidable. We are all working to find ways to reduce our stress. The thing is there is no one size fits all solution. There are a few stress relievers that I talk about in this episode that I consider universal that I have incorporated into my daily routines. I have had great success in managing stress with these strategies and hopefully, they can help you too.

Thank you for listening! Make sure to share and leave me a comment, www.shwandashallow.com.

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“Remembering your why and the reason you started in the first place can guide you and give you the encouragement you need.”

My life was taking me in a direction that I did not sign up for. The business deal my husband and I had been working on fell through. My car needed major work done, and everything that could break down or malfunction did. And if that wasn’t enough, I was dealing with me. I was in a very uncomfortable place with myself, and questioning my career path and the direction I was taking my business.

I woke up one morning and had this awful suppressing feeling come over me.  I really wanted to quit everything, move away, and start my life over.  Have you ever been there?  You get to a place where you just cannot do it any longer.  You smile when you want to cry and run away.  I was there.  My world came crashing down. 

When life does not turn out the way we plan, we are heartbroken.  We suddenly find ourselves in a place we have never expected to be in wondering what we did wrong. Wondering where and how we made a wrong turn.  But, sometimes it is a matter of changing your perspective on things, and you realize you are right where you need to be. In this episode, you will learn strategies that can help you find the motivation to try again.

Thank you for listening!  Make sure to leave a review on Apple Podcasts and make sure to leave me a comment, https://shwandashallow.com.  

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“We put ourselves in a box and insert an “or” where there could be an “and”.”

I had a conversation with my doctor, and I was giving her my spill on how much I had sacrificed to be a good mother to my kids. She too had challenges while pursuing her career as a doctor being a mother, but she didn’t consider herself making sacrifices. Instead, she said she made choices. Those words have stuck with me ever since. She chose to take care of her children, rather than hire someone else to do so. Her choice to take long vacations from work to spend with her family, meant she did not see as many patients, but that was her choice. She owned every consequence that came with that choice.

I strongly believe life and how you live it is a choice.  With every choice made or not there is a consequence and an experience. Your future is defined by the possibilities of your yesterday and the choices of your today. We don’t make sacrifices; we make life choices.  Whatever you choose to do you can choose not to do it. 

I used to make sacrifices, until I had that conversation with my doctor.  Making sacrifices gave me an excuse and a scapegoat for the time I thought I did not have.  I learned I was the one putting limitations on myself in terms of what I could or could not do.  No one was telling me I could only do either or.  Making sacrifices is confinement, but making choices is freedom. 

In this episode, I give you new revelation that will help you choose choice rather than make sacrifices.

Thank you for listening! Make sure you leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts on this topic.

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“You want to move through transition like you are going somewhere and you plan to get there.”

Change has never been as profound as it has been since the world abruptly stopped. In this season, we are all experiencing things we’ve never imagined in our lifetime. Smiles are hidden by masks.  Warm greetings are replaced by cautious and apprehensive head nods.  The silence of small talk in the grocery store on the bread isle is so loud and deafening.  

I get it. Trust me. I do understand we have to continue to practice social distancing and wear our masks to protect ourselves and others.  The continuous threat of the spread of the coronavirus is still very real. There is still quite a bit of uncertainty.  But, the one thing that is certain today is change.

There is nothing more certain than change, other than death, but even it is a transition. A transition from life.  

We all react to change differently. Somewhere along the spectrum, we either love change and can’t do without it, or we resist it, and prefer things to remain the same. At the end of day, all change is unsettling. Whether you thrive in or struggle in change, in this episode, you will discover a few tips you can heed to that can help you navigate your change successfully.

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“When you have a positive mindset, you’ll attract more positive experiences in your life.“

The way we speak to ourselves can be the determining factor in whether we are victorious or we are defeated. Growing up my grandmother used to always tell me life and death were in my tongue. I really didn’t realize the power in that saying until I became an adult and experienced life.

Words are powerful and if you don’t realize how powerful they are, you can find yourself losing the battle against them. The sad thing is so many of you take for granted the potential of words when it comes to talking to yourself. You speak so poorly to yourself and don’t even realize the damage you are causing.

So, why do we speak so poorly to ourselves? I’ll tell you why. It’s because of your inner critic. Though it’s difficult to believe, your inner critic, you see, she has good intentions. In her effort to protect you, she says whatever she needs to make sure you avoid any hurt, disappointment, rejection, criticism or failure. But, if not kept in check, she can destroy you.

You have to learn to silence her and speak more kindly to yourself. There are different strategies you can learn to help you do so that I propose in this episode. Things like learning when you are being critical of yourself and stopping those thoughts, replacing critical thoughts with something positive, and writing down compliments you receive are a few ways you can practice speaking to yourself with care. Try on approving yourself for a chance and experience a more lovable you and fulfilling life!

Thank you for listening! Make sure to leave me a comment and connect with me on Instagram and Facebook.

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“In order for you to show up fully and engaged to work, as a teacher, a parent, and a spouse, you have to have adequate sleep and rest.”

With all the challenges we have faced since this quarantine, the one thing that is really been trying is teleworking and homeschooling. The teleworking is not the problem. I actually enjoy working from home. It is the integration of them. It is the task of trying to work with two kids constantly asking questions and tugging at me for help and attention. That is the problem.

I have found ways and made adjustments to make this new way of living work for me and my family. In this episode, I prescribe to things such as establishing a routine, taking breaks often, signing off from work and not allowing work to bleed into your downtime, journaling, and simply taking deep breaths and relaxing, and you too can implement with your family and remain sane.  

Out of all of those ways I just mentioned, having a routine and journaling have made all the difference. With a routine we have consistency and expectations are known. Writing in my journal allows me to direct my day rather than allowing my day to control me. My days are more focused and intentional which leads to greater productivity for the entire family.

Something we have to be reminded of is to simply breath and relax. Everyone is home with their children homeschooling and experiencing some of the same things. Do not fight against the process. Flow with it. Everything is going to be alright. We will get through this!

Thanks for hanging out with me! Make sure to share and leave a comment. The show is now on iHeartRadio for you to listen.

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“To trust the process means to believe despite what you see or experience that there is a divine plan moving through you and your life at any given time.“

Nowadays, we all have some degree of fear whether you admit it or not. Many of you are scared crazy of the coronavirus.  Many folks are experiencing uncertain times now.  You are out of work and don’t know when/if your job will call you back. You are a non-essential business owner and was  forced to close your business. The closure has drastically impacted your income.  There are some essential businesses that are still open, but sales have gravely decreased.  People aren’t out patronizing your business.  It blows my mind when I go out to go to the grocery store, and I see entire shopping plazas are empty.  

Seeing lines of folks wrapped around buildings waiting to go inside is the norm now. While it’s not always fun to wait in a long line, I do appreciate the business owners doing what they can to control the number of people in their store to help us practice social distancing.

It’s a crazy time, and many of you are struggling and having a difficult time understanding how we got here. Though you don’t understand, you have to trust the divine process of life and flow with it. Trusting the process is believing everything will get better, and it will. In this episode, you can find comfort in trusting the process.

Thank you for spending time with me! Make sure to leave a comment and let me know how you are trusting the process.

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“Spending time laughing and enjoying each other is a recipe for longevity.”

During this “stay-at-home” order, many couples have been forced to spend more time with their spouse or significant other. For some, this time together has been a great experience, but for others, it’s been a nightmare.

My husband and I have seen more of each of other in the past couple of weeks than we have in our 9 years of marriage. It’s definitely been an adjustment, but we work on making it work. I’m sure it’s an adjustment for most couples.

People are taking to social media to express their feelings and to joke about the difficulties couples are having seeing each other so much. Some of it is quite funny. But on a serious note, sadly, domestic disputes have greatly increased during this time. The struggle is really real the spouses these days, and many are working very hard to survive each other.

The problem for many of them is they’ve never really worked to get to know their spouse. Now that they are stuck in the house with them, they’re discovering they don’t like the person they are with. But there is hope. You can always work on getting to know that person, as long as there is a mutual agreement, and you are willing to put in the work. What better time to do so, when time is all most of us have.

My husband and I have found ways to continue to like each other while sharing the same space, and we talk about some of those things in this episode. What’s helped us is we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Regardless of what you do or how creative you are, if you don’t enjoy being around your spouse, you are going to have problems.

Birmingham House of Cuts at https://thehouseofcuts.com

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“Confessions are good for the soul.”

I have to confess. This week has been challenging for me. I had my first guest on the show, and I intended to share that episode this week. But, I’ve struggled with getting the episode ready for publication. So that I didn’t leave you hanging, I decided to do a recap of my very first episode, EP 1 – Why Aren’t You Moving Forward, during the launch of the podcast back on Christmas Eve day 2019. It’s a great episode! I hope you enjoy it as much as you did the first time you heard it. I’ve grown as a podcaster now 15 episodes in, and there is so much more to learn. Stay tuned for the episode with my guest that’s coming soon. It’s going to be good!

Thanks for hanging out with me this week! Make sure to leave a review and comment on Apple Podcast. If you’ve been inspired to move forward with something, please leave me a comment and tell me about it. I want to celebrate you!

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“You can choose to spend your days sitting around scared and anxious, or you can choose to have productive days.”

It’s been a very interesting couple of weeks and a big adjustment for my family. However, it hasn’t been too bad.  Being confined to my home with my husband and kids reminds me of when I was growing up as a kid.  

My family and I spent a lot of time together.  I grew up in a rural town called Beauregard in Lee County with my grannie, mom, and two younger sisters. My aunt and her three boys lived close by. So, my sister and I always had my cousins to play with. In the country we didn’t have much to do, so the family was together quite a bit entertaining each other. As I think about it, those were some of the best days of my life. If we didn’t have anything else, which we didn’t most days, we had each other. 

The coronavirus has taken us back to those days.  Now that we are sequestered to our homes, families are interacting and engaging more.  The troubling thing is not everybody is happy with being around their family.  For some of those people, they have good reasons for not wanting to.  One of my husband’s customers who is a police officer was telling him domestic violence is on the rise.  That really disturbed my spirit hearing that, and it’s so sad. I pray that those women who live in those environments have the courage to leave before it’s too late.  

On a more positive note, for the families that are filled with love and their dynamics are healthy, this time together is much needed.  In my opinion, the state of the family unit was in danger before corona came on the scene.  The meaning of family has been redefined and become less important. Children are being stripped away from their parents and placed in cages and facilities to care for themselves. More and more parents are present but absent. 

Technology and other advancements in communication has caused us to become antisocial. You have more working parents spending most of their time working and making a living for their families doing everything rather than spending time with each other. The concerning thing is our children are watching us and imitating the same behaviors.

We have to find ways to cope and make it out of this crisis better than before. Spending time with our families is much needed as is spending time with yourself. This silent chaos will settle, and we will get through this. We are in this situation whether we want to be or not. You can choose to spend your days scared and anxious, or you can choose to have productive days. This episode is a dose of encouragement to help you to keep pressing on. This too shall pass. Stay home and stay safe my friends!

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