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"Getting my children into Heaven" - Steven Arms
Steven is a co-author (with his dad) of the book "Milestone to Manhood: A Christian Rite of Passage to Help Your 13-Year-Old Son Make the Leap from Boyhood to Manhood." In the book he shares his firsthand experience of his "Rite of Passage" weekend, how it shaped him into the man that he is today, and the tools needed to organize a Rite of Passage for your own son. There was so much in this I found interesting to discuss, along with how it related to his most important value of "getting his children into heaven."
Obviously there is a heavy faith based component to Steven's beliefs, so we discussed up front what led him to such a deep belief in God and some of the assumptions he might be making. But we quickly segued to the discussion of "being a man." Steven shared what his rite of passage meant for him and how his life changed when his father, grandfather, and uncles told him he was officially a man. It was really interesting to hear what the experience was all about, particularly how much emphasis they put on having open discussions about the "full spectrum" of being a man. It is not just about being a protector or feeling strong, sometimes being a man is about asking for help or dealing with pain or sadness.
We also talked a lot about the negative connotation "being a man" can have in today's world. As we know, there are many that believe the patriarchy and other attributes of "traditional" men have caused a lot of the suffering throughout human history. There are others that don't believe the term "man" or "woman" is even applicable to who we are as individuals. I really appreciated Steven being willing to swim around in these topics and being open to considering other views, while also sharing his personal beliefs. One of the things that stuck out with me most was when we asked the very direct question, "what does it mean to be a man?" and his response was, at it's core it is someone who is willing to self-sacrifice and live for other people not just himself. I thought that was a really beautiful way to put it and, in many ways, it describes what it means to just be a decent human.
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By Terry McMullen
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Steven is a co-author (with his dad) of the book "Milestone to Manhood: A Christian Rite of Passage to Help Your 13-Year-Old Son Make the Leap from Boyhood to Manhood." In the book he shares his firsthand experience of his "Rite of Passage" weekend, how it shaped him into the man that he is today, and the tools needed to organize a Rite of Passage for your own son. There was so much in this I found interesting to discuss, along with how it related to his most important value of "getting his children into heaven."
Obviously there is a heavy faith based component to Steven's beliefs, so we discussed up front what led him to such a deep belief in God and some of the assumptions he might be making. But we quickly segued to the discussion of "being a man." Steven shared what his rite of passage meant for him and how his life changed when his father, grandfather, and uncles told him he was officially a man. It was really interesting to hear what the experience was all about, particularly how much emphasis they put on having open discussions about the "full spectrum" of being a man. It is not just about being a protector or feeling strong, sometimes being a man is about asking for help or dealing with pain or sadness.
We also talked a lot about the negative connotation "being a man" can have in today's world. As we know, there are many that believe the patriarchy and other attributes of "traditional" men have caused a lot of the suffering throughout human history. There are others that don't believe the term "man" or "woman" is even applicable to who we are as individuals. I really appreciated Steven being willing to swim around in these topics and being open to considering other views, while also sharing his personal beliefs. One of the things that stuck out with me most was when we asked the very direct question, "what does it mean to be a man?" and his response was, at it's core it is someone who is willing to self-sacrifice and live for other people not just himself. I thought that was a really beautiful way to put it and, in many ways, it describes what it means to just be a decent human.