God’s greatest goal for our lives is not to make us happy and content. His greatest goal is to help us become like Him in character and heart. It is in the hard times that we actually develop the faith that brings us true joy in life. Thus our pain, from whatever direction it comes, gives us the gift of turning our hearts in need to the only one who can truly satisfy our hearts: Christ. In the moment, all we may feel is pain. In the scope of life, if we turn to Him, that pain develops in us deep faith and character that looks like His character.

This is the message of Peter in 1 Peter 1:6-7: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

The first time life came undone for me was early in my career when the church I was serving encountered problems, forcing me to take a different path. I chose to resign and move from California back to Minnesota to figure out what to do next. It had been a dark night of the soul, and I was physically exhausted, emotionally wounded, and deeply clinically depressed. From my perspective at the time, my dreams were shattered, I had been mistreated, and I no longer wanted to continue as a pastor. The trajectory of my life had taken a 180 degree turn, and like an errant missile, exploded.

It was a painful and long recovery that took a full ten years. But it launched me on a journey to understand God’s grace in my life - a journey that continues to this day. Redeeming my painful experience in that church, God gave me a consulting and writing career to help church leadership become healthy and effective. As with Joseph, God took what was ugly and painful and full of despair and redeemed it for His purposes, and in the process grew my heart more like His heart.

As God uses our pain to help us become like him in character and heart, we actually find ourselves becoming content and happy. The route to that contentment and happiness is not the one we would choose, because it runs through the river of pain, but it emerges on the other side with an authentic contentment and happiness that we couldn’t have by any other means. And in the process we begin to understand the promise of Jesus: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

Here is what you need to know if your dreams have been shattered: God is not the author of your pain - pain comes from living in a broken world. But God will take your pain and redeem it for His greater eternal purposes if you will allow Him to do that. The route to true fulfillment and purpose is often found in a detour through unwelcome pain. God wants to take that pain and use it for His glory. He will use our suffering to build His character and heart in us more fully.

Father, I thank You that Your greatest desire for me is that I become more like You. Help me to see the pain that I walk through in that perspective. Remind me that my pain will be redeemed for greater things than I can imagine - a me that is more like You.