Getting what you want is a pretty simple concept. You are reading this because maybe there is something that you want and it hasn’t come into fruition yet.

Listen to the supplemental podcast here!:

http://traffic.libsyn.com/bminusshow/getting_what_you_want_-_3_steps.mp3

There is a whole lot of things that can come into play such as subconscious programming, reaffirming things, goal setting, reevaluation and the list goes on.

For the sake of time, I will briefly overview a process that many people (including myself) go through to getting what you want.

Since many of you like my online dating and dating advice (per download history), I will use women (or men) as a pivot point to make my point.

 1. Having a goal

Perhaps you want to get a girlfriend or get married one day. Knowing this is your first step. It gets more detailed when you start lining out what you want in a partner. For example, outgoing personality, disciplined, tall, dark and smart.

Cool. These are good goals. But do you really know you want this and how do you know this is what you want in a partner? If you came from a place where you experienced something that supplements or contradicts these attributes, you are on the right track.

If you based your goals on a guess or dart in the dark, you will have a bit more work ahead of you (and possibly trial and error).

2. Reevaluation

So you know what you want now and perhaps you have discovered you are getting more specific on some attributes and are able to either remain more flexible (going more general) on some of these. Perhaps you have decided you had experienced some of these attributes and need to make some tweaks.

I think it is important to keep a log, whether written or mentally, and reevaluate what you want. Things change over time, so keep that in mind and don’t be shy when it comes to making changes to your original goal.

I also think that the longer you go without reaching your goal, you actually can discover you do not want the same things you were going after in the first place!

Perhaps you got what you wished for. In this case, you will need to find things about what you have that you enjoy. Only at this point you can truly appreciate what you have and can focus your efforts onto your next task.

We all have a list of many things we want i.e. career, relationships, finances, hobbies, etc. Just make sure you are reassessing or reevaluating these goals if you haven’t reached them yet. Sometimes you will realize that you have all you really want!

3. Action

The above two steps are very loaded with many details I did not include for times sake (if you know me, I sometimes bust stuff out in segments versus a novel per post!).

If you are “shopping” and dating, just keep trying out different things and determine what works best. Look for the positive responses and learn from the negative or neutral ones.

If you have your goal, you will continue to tweak your actions. For example, if you are pursing a certain type of woman and she doesn’t respond favorably, make a change in how you respond and react.

Things vary if you are in more constant contact with the same girl (i.e. friend of a friend, etc.) or just seeing a bunch of new ones daily (college was great for variety and new opportunities!).

I believe if you truly, madly, deeply know what you want in a woman (or anything), you will get it over time. Just take a step whether it is making a goal to spark a conversation with a hottie or generalizing by just becoming more social.

Conclusion

Make a goal, reevaluate that goal over time and take action. It’s complicated, yet simple. If you are conscious of your development in pursuing a lady or anything in life, follow this process or something similar.