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Ghosting, Blocking & Dopamine | When Likes Feel Like Love | Social Media and BPD
Feeling empty, disconnected, or raw? You open Instagram, post something carefully crafted, and for a moment, the likes make you feel seen. Then, the algorithm shifts. An ex appears. A friend's post feels like a dig. Or worse: silence. Your post gets three likes. That piece of yourself vanishes into the digital void.
What happens next? The chest tightness. The spiral. The urge to delete everything or post something even more raw to force a connection.
If this cycle is your reality, you're not being "too sensitive." You're navigating a world not built for the BPD brain.
In this episode, we break down why social media often feels like psychological warfare. We explore:
The Digital Dopamine Trap: Why our brains are uniquely wired for this struggle and how platforms become our "interpersonal regulation machines."
Research Deep Dives: How a single ignored message can trigger self-harm urges, and why we post/delete/edit in a cycle of emotional survival.
The Specific Minefields: The agony of asynchronous texts, the catastrophic impact of ghosting, and the "block/unblock" spiral.
Actionable Strategies: How to conduct a "digital symptom audit," engineer your environment, build "analog anchors," and create a crisis plan for online triggers.
This isn't about deleting your apps. It’s about understanding the hooks and learning to build a digital life that serves you, not your symptoms.
🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at [email protected] and let’s keep the conversation going.
🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on Spotify.
If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:
📩 [email protected] or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org
📚 Referenced Research Includes:
Howard, K. P., & Cheavens, J. S. (2023). Interpersonal emotion regulation in the context of social networks: A focus on borderline personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 14(2), 182.
Ooi, J., Michael, J., Lemola, S., Butterfill, S., Siew, C. S., & Walasek, L. (2020). Interpersonal functioning in borderline personality disorder traits: a social media perspective. Scientific reports, 10(1), 1068. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-58001-x
Goreis, A., Chang, D., Klinger, D., Zesch, H. E., Pfeffer, B., Oehlke, S. M., ... & Kothgassner, O. D. (2025). Impact of social media on triggering nonsuicidal self-injury in adolescents: a comparative ambulatory assessment study. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 12(1), 4. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-025-00280-9
Hu, A., Yuan, R., Chen, R., & Liu, M. J. (2024). A glamorous but highly stressful job: The role of social media-afforded status in micro-celebrity stress coping. Technological Forecasting and Social Change, 209, 123791. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.techfore.2024.123791
The Center for Humane Technology (humanetech.com) for understanding app design.
View all episodes
By Stephanie Schildknecht, Kerry FisherFeeling empty, disconnected, or raw? You open Instagram, post something carefully crafted, and for a moment, the likes make you feel seen. Then, the algorithm shifts. An ex appears. A friend's post feels like a dig. Or worse: silence. Your post gets three likes. That piece of yourself vanishes into the digital void.
What happens next? The chest tightness. The spiral. The urge to delete everything or post something even more raw to force a connection.
If this cycle is your reality, you're not being "too sensitive." You're navigating a world not built for the BPD brain.
In this episode, we break down why social media often feels like psychological warfare. We explore:
The Digital Dopamine Trap: Why our brains are uniquely wired for this struggle and how platforms become our "interpersonal regulation machines."
Research Deep Dives: How a single ignored message can trigger self-harm urges, and why we post/delete/edit in a cycle of emotional survival.
The Specific Minefields: The agony of asynchronous texts, the catastrophic impact of ghosting, and the "block/unblock" spiral.
Actionable Strategies: How to conduct a "digital symptom audit," engineer your environment, build "analog anchors," and create a crisis plan for online triggers.
This isn't about deleting your apps. It’s about understanding the hooks and learning to build a digital life that serves you, not your symptoms.
🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at [email protected] and let’s keep the conversation going.
🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on Spotify.
If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:
📩 [email protected] or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org
📚 Referenced Research Includes:
Howard, K. P., & Cheavens, J. S. (2023). Interpersonal emotion regulation in the context of social networks: A focus on borderline personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 14(2), 182.
Ooi, J., Michael, J., Lemola, S., Butterfill, S., Siew, C. S., & Walasek, L. (2020). Interpersonal functioning in borderline personality disorder traits: a social media perspective. Scientific reports, 10(1), 1068. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-58001-x
Goreis, A., Chang, D., Klinger, D., Zesch, H. E., Pfeffer, B., Oehlke, S. M., ... & Kothgassner, O. D. (2025). Impact of social media on triggering nonsuicidal self-injury in adolescents: a comparative ambulatory assessment study. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 12(1), 4. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-025-00280-9
Hu, A., Yuan, R., Chen, R., & Liu, M. J. (2024). A glamorous but highly stressful job: The role of social media-afforded status in micro-celebrity stress coping. Technological Forecasting and Social Change, 209, 123791. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.techfore.2024.123791
The Center for Humane Technology (humanetech.com) for understanding app design.