Welcome to The Hero Complex Podcast — the only show brave enough to ask the question nobody else will: Who wins in a fight between a teleporting blue mutant and a Serie A–humbled Premier League wizard?

This week, things spiral immediately as Nightcrawler from the X-Men — swashbuckling elf, devout philosopher, part-time smoke machine — whooshes into the studio to face off against Gianfranco Zola, the velvet-footed Chelsea F.C. legend who once made defenders reconsider their career choices. Can teleportation outmaneuvre a perfectly weighted free kick? Can a prehensile tail defend against a man who treated the penalty box like his own Renaissance fresco? These are the questions keeping absolutely no one awake at night — except us.

Presiding over this completely necessary cultural summit is self-styled Soviet comedian Dimitri Bakanov, whose geopolitical analysis of mutant powers and dark humour make him perfect for the pod. Alongside him, Patrick Brusnahan and Adam Greene attempt to maintain disorder, fact-check teleportation physics, and explain the offside rule to a German Catholic superhero from another dimension.

Expect heated debates! It’s comic books. It’s football. It’s existential philosophy. It's The Hero Complex Podcast — where superpowers meet set pieces, and absolutely nobody leaves unscathed.

@dimitri_bakanov

https://www.dimitribakanov.com/

@adam.greene.9Adam Greene: The Wizard of Ozempic - Big Belly Comedy Club

@youngmanbrusnahan

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