Tackling Toxic Thoughts

The different thinking errors we learned about are considered to be "toxic thoughts."  Some advice was given on how to handle these thoughts.  We are now going to go into a more comprehensive way of handling these situations.

The method we are going to talk about here is the "ABC" method.  This is the activating event, the beliefs and thoughts, and the consequences.  This activity gives you a chance to focus on catching your negative automatic thoughts (NAT's) on paper and to see the connection between your thoughts and emotions.  Make a form that shows either a box or a column for activating event, beliefs and consequences.[1] 

 

Making an "ABC" form is great, but if you don't have one at the time, when you feel an upsetting emotion, grab anything you can write on to scribble down your thoughts and feelings.  You can always transfer your thoughts to a form later.  But it is very important that when you feel bad, you write it down.

A crucial step in Cognitive Behavior Therapy is making that thought – feeling link or the B – C connection.  Seeing clearly for yourself the connection between what goes through your mind and your resulting emotions is important.  It can help you to make much more sense of why to challenge and change your thoughts.

One of the biggest advantages of writing down your thoughts is that the process can help you to regard these thoughts simply as hunches, theories and ideas – rather than absolute facts.   The more negative the meaning you give to an event, the more negative you feel, and the more likely you act in a way that maintains that feeling.  Crucially, when you feel negative, you're more likely to generate negative thoughts.  See how easily you can get caught in a vicious circle?  Just another reason to take your negative thoughts with a bucket of salt.

Emotions and behavior are consequences (C) of the interaction between the activating event or trigger (A) and the beliefs or meanings (B) in the "ABC" model of emotion.

The basic process for completing this "ABC" form is to do the following:

1. In the consequences section, point 1, write down the emotion you're feeling:

Examples include:

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Envy
• Guild
• Hurt
• Jealousy
• Shame

 

Fill out the ABC form when you feel emotionally upset, when you've acted in a way that you want to change or when you feel like acting in a way that you wish to change.

 

1. In the consequences section, point 2, write down how you acted. Write down how your behavior changed when you felt your uncomfortable emotion.  Examples include:

• Avoiding something
• Becoming withdrawn,
• Isolated or inactive
• Being aggressive
• Binge-eating or restricting food intake
• Escaping from a situation
• Putting off something (procrastination)
• Seeking reassurance
• Taking alcohol or drugs
• Using safety behaviors such as holding on to something if you feel faint

 

1. In the activating event section, write down what triggered your feelings. Triggers can include the following:

• Something happening right now
• Something that occurred in the past
• Something that you're anticipating happening in the future
• Something in the external world (an object, place or person)
• Something in your mind (an image or memory)
• A physical sensation (increased heart rate, headaches, feeling tired)
• Your own emotions or behavior

 

An activating even can be pretty much anything.  Use your feelings – rather than whether you think the event is important – as a guide to write this down.  To keep the "ABC" form brief and accurate, focus on the specific aspect of the activating event that you're upset about. 

 

1. In the beliefs section, write down your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs. Describe what the event (whatever you've put in the activating event section) meant to you when you felt the emotion (what you've written under point 1 in the consequences section.  The thoughts, attitudes and beliefs you put in the beliefs section often pop up on reflex.  They may be extreme, distorted and unhelpful – but they may seem like facts to you.  Examples of this are:

• Here I go again, proving that I'm useless
• I should've known better
• Now everyone knows what an idiot I am
• This proves that I can't copy like normal people do

 

We think not only in words, but also in pictures.  People who are feeling anxious frequently describe that they see catastrophic images going through their minds.

 

1. In the thinking error section, consider what your thinking errors may be. One of the key ways to become more objective about your thoughts is to identify the thinking errors that may be represented in the thoughts you list in this area.  Questions that you can ask yourself in order to identify your thinking errors include:

• Am I jumping to the worst possible conclusion? (Catastrophizing)
• Am I thinking in extreme – all-or-nothing – terms? (Black and White thinking)
• Am I using words like "always" and "never" to draw generalized conclusions from a specific event? (Overgeneralizing)
• Am I predicting the future rather than waiting to see what happens? (Fortune Telling)
• Am I jumping to conclusions about what other people are thinking of me? (Mind-reading)
• Am I focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive? (Mental Filtering)
• Am I discount positive information or twisting a positive into a negative? (Disqualifying the positive)
• Am I globally putting myself down as a failure, worthless or useless? (Labelling)
• Am I listening too much to my negative gut feelings rather than looking at the objective facts? (Emotional reasoning)
• Am I taking an event or someone's behavior too personally or blaming myself and overlooking other factors? (Personalizing)
• Am I using words like "should," "must," "ought," and "have to" in order to make rigid rules about myself, the world or other people? (Demanding)
• Am I telling myself that something is too difficult or unbearable or that "I can't stand it" when actually it's a hard to bear but is bearable and worth tolerating? (Having a low frustration tolerance)

 

This is the first step in overcoming these toxic thoughts.  In the next post, we will talk about creating constructive alternatives.