“Don't be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about 7 out of 500 people.”

—Judd Apatow

Although for some it’s counterintuitive, a reputation as a “generous” negotiating partner can serve you well as you go through life, personally and professionally. The more others view you as a collaborator in the negotiation process, the more apt they are to help you and work toward common resolution goals. There are several things at play here, which you’ll notice in mediation and less formal negotiation settings, that are deep-seated in human nature.

·      Negotiators are more apt to help people they like than people they don’t like, and people seek out a sense of “fairness” at the bargaining table.

·      Whether it’s out of a feeling of obligation or reciprocity, we generally like equilibrium and balance.

·      Your reputation as a net “giver” or a “taker” will quickly precede you, and whether in the future you work with the same people or just with people aware of your reputation – which tends to spread more quickly and widely than you might think – how others perceive your style can have a direct impact on your chances of success or failure down the road.

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