. . . although sometimes I feel kind of stuck.

I’ve created a biosphere and a ranchito and feel responsible for the animals and plants that live here. The dragonflies darting around above the hydrilla in the old cement swimming pool (now a fish pond) and the bats that fly thru the air in the evening skimming the water, the orange and white gold fish who now are as large as small carp which I guess they are and the hundreds of tiny minnowy fish that swim among them. The cardinal couple who come and sing to me some evenings outside my studio window. The cats, the raccoons, the occasional opossum, the possum haw lining the fence line with their brilliant red berries in the winter, the chili pequin bushes that I truly love - small hot chilis that look like Christmas ornaments amidst the tender green leaves. All this and so much more holds me here.

I don’t really care to travel anyways, I actually prefer my routine and my postage stamp sized ranchito where I occasionally grow a bit of swiss chard, a tomato or two, maybe some spinach. Here I can weather the vagaries of growing older and maintain myself and my casita. Things are manageable and the cafe experience is just a bike ride away.

There are adventures to experience and things to discover everywhere. Instead of traveling and exploring unknown parts of the world I have discovered that everywhere is here. Truth. What if I was from Tunisia and came here to visit - this would all be fantastic and exciting and wonderfully new. I once had a Couchsurfer from Tunisia who discovered my city from the bike tour I gave her and then went out on her own and was gone all day, every day exploring. It would have been the same if I had visited her in Tunisia. Wonders abound wherever you are. That’s my take away.

The fish pond, although it warms considerably by the end of summer and doesn’t have quite the same thrill it has in Spring and Winter, is a genuine baptismal experience. I grew up a Baptist, attended regular services by virtue of the fact that my father was the minister and was even baptized in front of the congregation in a truly terrifying ritual of full immersion but the custom comes from John the Baptist and Jesus in the Jordon River and before that has its antecedents in ancient history going way back to before there was history. People have always jumped in the water to gain the renewal and the blessing. I can do that daily. No chlorine.

My house is air conditioned, the roof is secure and there are windows all around. A front porch and a back porch and a driveway with a beat up old Prius sitting in it ready to go to the store in any weather. All that’s left is to appreciate it.

Once when I was living in the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico I went back in the jungle to explore a friend’s cenote. I was a scuba instructor and an occasional cave diver - the cenotes being connected to one another underground in these amazing and maze like tunnels, rivers actually. It was a thing to see where they went and to discover new underwater caves and caverns. This cenote was small and rocky but I decided to explore what I could just with breath hold diving, to see if it was worth bringing cave diving gear back there and doing a proper exploration. I was good at breath hold diving, practiced it, could stay underwater for three minutes so I put on my mask and flippers and went in, down, to the left and to the right with my little flashlight. When it became obvious that it didn’t go anywhere I turned around and in that moment my light went out. It was perfectly dark and I didn’t have any assurance at all that I could find my way back to the surface. A wrong turn at that moment could spell doom. And guess what? My light came back on and I swam back to the surface deeply happy that I was still alive and breathing air, an ocean of air, instead of dying in a panic for the lack of it.

I think about that sometimes when I feel bored or lost. At least I’m not in an underwater cave with no air, trapped and frightened. Plenty of air here. I can breathe all I want in a nice easy rhythm.

The song starts out:A garden begins with a seedAnd a vision nourished by sunlightKeep going, keep going, my love, keep goingWater everything around, your dreams live in my bodyLife here, life here, nothing is fair, life hereI give you the splendor, dawn in the desertI want to go, I want to go, behind you I want to goBegin humanity on another planet and universeHeart of peace, soul of lavaSaliva of bread, Colombian without ancestors

The video is underwater. In a cave or something, then a garden. Seemed appropriate. Just came up on YouTube. It’s magic. Everything is magic. All around me all the time.

Existence is magic. I pray for the eyes to see it, the heart to feel it. Watch the video. ‘Jardines’ featuring Lido Pimienta.

A garden of red and yellow flowersYour light comes to cuddle the rootI want to go, I want to go, before you I want to goShow you my path of emeralds and diamondsHeart of straw, soul of lavaSaliva of bread, Colombian without memories

The gardens were nourishedThey were nourished by the Magdalena RiverThe dolphins, pink dolphinsWere greeting me with a tender smileI would like to be like the breezeTo be the breeze that ruffles your hairAnd to get inside it, to get inside itSo I can see and hear your smileOf red and yellow flowersYour light comes nestled in the roots

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