Many people fear that God will leave them, but you have a very good reason why this will not happen. God has a reputation to uphold. A reputation of perfect love.

Deep, deep down, I think one of my greatest fears is that of abandonment. That I will be kicked out of the tribe, the family, the grouping, I will be alone.

Like a leper cast out of the town, I will be on the outside whilst everyone else is enjoying community on the inside. The party is going on, but the door is shut and bolted to entry.

Dig into the deep longings of your heart, and I think you will find a similar fear. We were created to enjoy a party going on, not the sterility of an isolation ward.

Yet, so many live in a fear of God leaving them. They have a deep belief that God, having become so fed up with their sin, lack of obedience, trust, and failure, throws the hands to the skies and shouts, ‘I’m done, they’re out of here.’

Maybe a threat of ‘being kicked out’ was held over them from a young age.

Punishment for not getting it right. Threats, condemnation, rules, black and white, you’re ‘In,’ or you’re ‘Out.’

Possibly at a young age, they experienced a deep loss. A death, a parent walking away from the marriage, a belittling of genuine pain. Healthy, God-designed attachments broken and torn away.

Rejection can get its hooks into us at a very early age. Only love can pry it loose.

Returning the favor

I think we often make God into our own likeness.

French writer Voltaire writes this.

In the beginning God created man in His own image, and man has been trying to repay the favor ever since. Voltaire

We create an image of what God is like from the scraps of our own experiences.

Taught or caught?

We get taught certain theologies about God’s nature (head knowledge) but so often, what we deeply believe (heart knowing) is caught through the experiences of our lives.

We remain in the old belief systems until we have caught, or we catch new healthier beliefs.

What beliefs have you caught that actually need to be thrown back as they are either undersized or something never intended for eating?

Promises, promises, promises to never leave.

I could fill this page with verse upon verse of scripture about God never leaving us.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

But do these verses touch that core fear of the heart? Maybe they do on a very cognitive basis, but what does the heart need to hear?

You’ve seen promises get broken. You’ve broken them yourself. So now you’re not too sure about being reliant on a few words uttered.

Looking beyond my shame and guilt

I believe that God uses us as flawed mirrors of themselves – Father/mother, Spirit, Jesus.

We discover new facets of what God is like through the expression of themselves through their greatest creation – us.

When someone who knows my pain, shame, guilt, darkness, depression, anxieties and yet still chooses to love and welcome me into themselves, then I smell the aroma of perfect love.

I catch something of God.

As a pastor, coach, friend, I have had the deep privilege of hearing some of the most terrible things that have happened to people. Actually, once I had a counselor say to me that God has given me the gift of being able to walk into the very dark places of people’s lives and having nothing sticking to me.

When I have listened to the darkness of others, I have been an ambassador of Christ. I have represented God’s ‘I am with you’ reputation.

When I have given the invitation to look bad in the face of love, often people have caught a new vision of what God is like.

Christ has no body now but yours.No hands, no feet on earth but yours.Yours are the eyes through which he looks compassion on this world.Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good.Yours are the hands through which he blesses all the world.Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body.Christ has no body n