Gold has fans, critics, and a whole lot of marketing. In this Financial Mythbusters-style episode, we unpack when (and if) gold earns a seat in a long-term portfolio. We cover how gold really behaves across market cycles, why "true believer" doomsday cases fall apart in practice, the overlooked tax trap on ETFs and bullion (hello, 28% collectible rate), and the messy realities of storage, insurance, and selling physical bars and coins. We also compare owning bullion/ETFs vs. gold-miner stocks, where dividends and capital-gains treatment may help—but bring new risks. If you've ever wondered whether 2–5% "permanent gold" allocations make sense—or you're tempted by those late-night gold IRA ads—this one's for you.

Key Takeaways

• Gold's performance comes in tight bursts; long doldrums are common.

• Behavioral trap: it often feels worst to sell when everyone else is buying.

• Tax surprise: bullion and gold-backed ETFs are taxed as collectibles (up to 28%).

• "Gold IRA" popularity often masks that tax issue—not a free lunch.

• Miners ≠ gold: different drivers, sometimes dividends, standard cap-gains—but country/operational risks.

• Physical gold has friction: storage, insurance, purity checks, dealer spreads, logistics.

• A small, rules-based "speculation sleeve" can be a cleaner way to scratch the itch.