'Uninvited Touch and the Myth of Assumption'

In this episode, Gui and I, joined by Paloma Alves, tackle the controversial topic of uninvited massage, stretching, and intimate touch on the dance floor.

We discuss why assuming consent for therapeutic contact is a boundary violation and how to navigate these moments with awareness.

We address the trend of dancers massaging partners mid-dance without permission.

The Massage Trap: Intentions vs. Reality

• The "Taught" Massage: We express concern over workshops teaching massage as a "connection tool." Learning a technique for an hour doesn't make one a therapist. Unskilled pressure on a partner's spine can lead to injury or discomfort.

• The Freeze Response: I share my experience of freezing during an uninvited massage. Even if the touch feels "pleasant," the lack of consent creates confusion, effectively ending the emotional connection of the dance.

• Abstract Pressure: Paloma highlights that everyone's pain threshold is different. What one person thinks is a "nice squeeze" can be a painful trigger for someone with a hidden injury.

  
  

  The Power of Consent

• Check and Recheck: Any touch outside of regular dance movement must follow a "feedback loop." This involves verbalizing: "Is this okay?" or "Are you comfortable with this?"

• The Expert Fallacy: Regardless of a partner's status as a teacher or therapist, your body is the ultimate authority. You have the absolute right to say "no" or "stop" at any time.

Key Takeaway: If it isn't a dance move, don't do it without explicit verbal consent. Let’s keep the social floor a safe space for movement, not uninvited therapy.

→ Have you ever experienced an uninvited "touch" or "massage" on the dance floor?

Share your thoughts and join the conversation!