I Have Remembered

I have remembered you every day,

even after we parted ways.

I remembered you on sleepless nights,

and on days when sickness kept me awake.

I still remember you.

Especially in dreams,

where you feel so close,

until I wake up and you are gone.

I miss you.

Not for what we had,

but for what we never did.

I miss the moments we never shared,

the love that was never owned.

I looked for you everywhere:

in crowds,

in dreams,

in words not written for me,

in the depths of my inbox

even the spam folder,

perhaps you never wrote at all.

Perhaps you never thought of me

the way I think of you.

I wonder,

do you search for me too?

What will you do of one day you look for me and find nothing but absence?

When you find nothing but rather learn about my death?

Would you grieve?

Would you cry?

But none of that matters now.

I have waited enough

And always rememberd you,

but I leave you here in 2024.

I step into the new year,

without the weight of this longing.

Goodbye

K.

~V