When the Romulan scout vessel Pi failwhales straight into Galorndon Core, what's a pair of Romulans to do? If you're Bochra and Patahk, the Bashir and O'Brien of the Romulan Empire, you self-destruct the ship to cover your shame and update your dating profile on OK Pon-Farr. Will Bochra get lucky in love with the USS Hood's Lt. Robinson? Will Patahk die with a bad case of dry mouth? How much whiskey helps transporter chiefs cope with post-LCARS patch day transporter mishaps? Grab a synthehol cold one and pop in some earbuds, because the Brothers Weems are here to answer all those questions you didn't plan on asking!