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Grace, Guilt, and Getting Real in Laguna Beach--Fr. Will Crist and Bishop Brian Delvaux, St. Francis By the Sea Cathedral. November 19, 2025
Episode Description
The Heart of Laguna – “Grace, Guilt, and Getting Real in Laguna Beach”
What happens when two priests ordained in 1974 sit down and talk honestly about faith, failure, calling, and community?
In this episode of The Heart of Laguna, I’m joined by Bishop Brian Delvaux of St. Francis Cathedral in Laguna Beach. Brian tells the story of his winding path—from Roman Catholic priest, to leaving ministry, to marriage and family life, to selling pipe and phones, and finally returning to the priesthood as bishop of a small, independent Catholic community just around the corner from St. Mary’s.
Together, we wrestle with what it means to be “real” people of faith in a divided world: how we confuse niceness with love, why disagreement is not hatred, and how guilt and fear have been used to keep people small instead of setting them free. We explore grace as God’s initiative, not a spiritual paycheck, and we ask what it would look like for Laguna Beach to become a place where people can truly listen across differences—political, religious, and cultural—and discover each other’s humanity.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit the religious box you were handed, or you’re longing for a deeper, more spacious kind of Christian faith, this conversation is for you.
Show Notes
Guest: Bishop Brian Delvaux – Bishop of St. Francis Cathedral, an independent Catholic community on Park Avenue in Laguna Beach, California.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
Questions for Reflection
About the Show
The Heart of Laguna is a weekly conversation from KXFM in Laguna Beach. Each episode explores what holds us together when the world feels like it’s coming apart—through stories, spirit, and service from the soul of the city.🎙 New episodes every Wednesday morning on KXFM at 8:00.
The Heart of Laguna – “Grace, Guilt, and Getting Real in Laguna Beach”
What happens when two priests ordained in 1974 sit down and talk honestly about faith, failure, calling, and community?
In this episode of The Heart of Laguna, I’m joined by Bishop Brian Delvaux of St. Francis Cathedral in Laguna Beach. Brian tells the story of his winding path—from Roman Catholic priest, to leaving ministry, to marriage and family life, to selling pipe and phones, and finally returning to the priesthood as bishop of a small, independent Catholic community just around the corner from St. Mary’s.
Together, we wrestle with what it means to be “real” people of faith in a divided world: how we confuse niceness with love, why disagreement is not hatred, and how guilt and fear have been used to keep people small instead of setting them free. We explore grace as God’s initiative, not a spiritual paycheck, and we ask what it would look like for Laguna Beach to become a place where people can truly listen across differences—political, religious, and cultural—and discover each other’s humanity.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit the religious box you were handed, or you’re longing for a deeper, more spacious kind of Christian faith, this conversation is for you.
Show Notes
Guest: Bishop Brian Delvaux – Bishop of St. Francis Cathedral, an independent Catholic community on Park Avenue in Laguna Beach, California.
- Former Roman Catholic priest (ordained 1974)
- Husband, father, and grandfather
- Longtime pastor, hospital chaplain, and teacher of adult Catholic theology
In This Episode, We Talk About:
- A life-long calling with twists and turns
- Brian’s early inspiration from a young priest who “poured himself out” for his community
- Seminary life as a place of real people—“crazy, fun, and holy”—not plaster saints
- Leaving active ministry, working in the secular world, and discovering faith from the pews
- The path back into the priesthood and eventually the episcopacy in an independent Catholic context
- Grace, guilt, and the end of religious infantilism
- The difference between guilt that crushes and guilt that simply says, “I’m sorry.”
- Moving beyond a “third-grade religion” where you earn grace by being good
- Grace as God’s initiative: “You don’t get grace for helping the lady across the street; you get grace so you can help her across the street.”
- Confession not as payment, but as shedding the illusion that we are unforgivable
- Division, “haters,” and the poverty of niceness
- Why our culture now confuses disagreement with hate
- How fear of conflict leads to shallow niceness instead of deep love
- The difference between being a tourist in other people’s worlds and truly entering their culture, experience, and pain
- The cost—and necessity—of learning to love people we don’t agree with
- Church leadership in a new age
- The shift from “sage on the stage” to “guide on the side” for clergy and faith leaders
- Why small churches and small groups often shape history more than big institutions
- Creating spiritual spaces where people can be honest, imperfect, and welcomed as they are
- How an independent Catholic parish seeks to honor Catholic theology while removing unnecessary barriers to belonging
- Laguna Beach as a spiritual microcosm
- Laguna as a home for artists and creators who “imitate the Creator”
- The town as a microcosm of humanity’s larger challenges and hopes
- Signs of resilience and hope—from interfaith gatherings and shared prayer to community efforts like “Love Laguna”
- The conviction that this place is not just beautiful, but capable of much more in how we love and listen to each other
- Beyond stereotypes: Christians, not just labels
- Seeing denominations as “table groups” within the larger Christian community
- Moving from “you’re Catholic, so you must be X” / “you’re Episcopalian, so you must be Y” to real encounter
- The possibility of groups, like Braver Angels, that help people with different political views move beyond caricatures into genuine relationship
Questions for Reflection
- Where in your own life have you settled for “niceness” instead of real, honest, loving conversations?
- What parts of your faith are still stuck at the “third-grade” level—and what would it look like to grow up spiritually?
- Who have you written off as a “hater” or an enemy before you actually listened to their story?
- How might you, in your corner of Laguna Beach (or wherever you live), become a facilitator of deeper listening instead of just another advocate for your side?
About the Show
The Heart of Laguna is a weekly conversation from KXFM in Laguna Beach. Each episode explores what holds us together when the world feels like it’s coming apart—through stories, spirit, and service from the soul of the city.🎙 New episodes every Wednesday morning on KXFM at 8:00.
View all episodes
By William CristEpisode Description
The Heart of Laguna – “Grace, Guilt, and Getting Real in Laguna Beach”
What happens when two priests ordained in 1974 sit down and talk honestly about faith, failure, calling, and community?
In this episode of The Heart of Laguna, I’m joined by Bishop Brian Delvaux of St. Francis Cathedral in Laguna Beach. Brian tells the story of his winding path—from Roman Catholic priest, to leaving ministry, to marriage and family life, to selling pipe and phones, and finally returning to the priesthood as bishop of a small, independent Catholic community just around the corner from St. Mary’s.
Together, we wrestle with what it means to be “real” people of faith in a divided world: how we confuse niceness with love, why disagreement is not hatred, and how guilt and fear have been used to keep people small instead of setting them free. We explore grace as God’s initiative, not a spiritual paycheck, and we ask what it would look like for Laguna Beach to become a place where people can truly listen across differences—political, religious, and cultural—and discover each other’s humanity.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit the religious box you were handed, or you’re longing for a deeper, more spacious kind of Christian faith, this conversation is for you.
Show Notes
Guest: Bishop Brian Delvaux – Bishop of St. Francis Cathedral, an independent Catholic community on Park Avenue in Laguna Beach, California.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
Questions for Reflection
About the Show
The Heart of Laguna is a weekly conversation from KXFM in Laguna Beach. Each episode explores what holds us together when the world feels like it’s coming apart—through stories, spirit, and service from the soul of the city.🎙 New episodes every Wednesday morning on KXFM at 8:00.
The Heart of Laguna – “Grace, Guilt, and Getting Real in Laguna Beach”
What happens when two priests ordained in 1974 sit down and talk honestly about faith, failure, calling, and community?
In this episode of The Heart of Laguna, I’m joined by Bishop Brian Delvaux of St. Francis Cathedral in Laguna Beach. Brian tells the story of his winding path—from Roman Catholic priest, to leaving ministry, to marriage and family life, to selling pipe and phones, and finally returning to the priesthood as bishop of a small, independent Catholic community just around the corner from St. Mary’s.
Together, we wrestle with what it means to be “real” people of faith in a divided world: how we confuse niceness with love, why disagreement is not hatred, and how guilt and fear have been used to keep people small instead of setting them free. We explore grace as God’s initiative, not a spiritual paycheck, and we ask what it would look like for Laguna Beach to become a place where people can truly listen across differences—political, religious, and cultural—and discover each other’s humanity.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit the religious box you were handed, or you’re longing for a deeper, more spacious kind of Christian faith, this conversation is for you.
Show Notes
Guest: Bishop Brian Delvaux – Bishop of St. Francis Cathedral, an independent Catholic community on Park Avenue in Laguna Beach, California.
- Former Roman Catholic priest (ordained 1974)
- Husband, father, and grandfather
- Longtime pastor, hospital chaplain, and teacher of adult Catholic theology
In This Episode, We Talk About:
- A life-long calling with twists and turns
- Brian’s early inspiration from a young priest who “poured himself out” for his community
- Seminary life as a place of real people—“crazy, fun, and holy”—not plaster saints
- Leaving active ministry, working in the secular world, and discovering faith from the pews
- The path back into the priesthood and eventually the episcopacy in an independent Catholic context
- Grace, guilt, and the end of religious infantilism
- The difference between guilt that crushes and guilt that simply says, “I’m sorry.”
- Moving beyond a “third-grade religion” where you earn grace by being good
- Grace as God’s initiative: “You don’t get grace for helping the lady across the street; you get grace so you can help her across the street.”
- Confession not as payment, but as shedding the illusion that we are unforgivable
- Division, “haters,” and the poverty of niceness
- Why our culture now confuses disagreement with hate
- How fear of conflict leads to shallow niceness instead of deep love
- The difference between being a tourist in other people’s worlds and truly entering their culture, experience, and pain
- The cost—and necessity—of learning to love people we don’t agree with
- Church leadership in a new age
- The shift from “sage on the stage” to “guide on the side” for clergy and faith leaders
- Why small churches and small groups often shape history more than big institutions
- Creating spiritual spaces where people can be honest, imperfect, and welcomed as they are
- How an independent Catholic parish seeks to honor Catholic theology while removing unnecessary barriers to belonging
- Laguna Beach as a spiritual microcosm
- Laguna as a home for artists and creators who “imitate the Creator”
- The town as a microcosm of humanity’s larger challenges and hopes
- Signs of resilience and hope—from interfaith gatherings and shared prayer to community efforts like “Love Laguna”
- The conviction that this place is not just beautiful, but capable of much more in how we love and listen to each other
- Beyond stereotypes: Christians, not just labels
- Seeing denominations as “table groups” within the larger Christian community
- Moving from “you’re Catholic, so you must be X” / “you’re Episcopalian, so you must be Y” to real encounter
- The possibility of groups, like Braver Angels, that help people with different political views move beyond caricatures into genuine relationship
Questions for Reflection
- Where in your own life have you settled for “niceness” instead of real, honest, loving conversations?
- What parts of your faith are still stuck at the “third-grade” level—and what would it look like to grow up spiritually?
- Who have you written off as a “hater” or an enemy before you actually listened to their story?
- How might you, in your corner of Laguna Beach (or wherever you live), become a facilitator of deeper listening instead of just another advocate for your side?
About the Show
The Heart of Laguna is a weekly conversation from KXFM in Laguna Beach. Each episode explores what holds us together when the world feels like it’s coming apart—through stories, spirit, and service from the soul of the city.🎙 New episodes every Wednesday morning on KXFM at 8:00.