I am so grateful that I have people within my own family who are willing to help me when I have a task that is not within my talent. And I am also grateful that when I don’t find what I need within my immediate family, I can humble myself to reach beyond the easily accessible resources.

I have always been physically strong, and so have my daughters. My husband has been disabled for the past 23 years and we women have stepped up whenever needed, into tasks that most women delegate to men.

We have been moving furniture around a lot the past couple of weeks as we transform our home from a place that was super active with teenagers in and out all day long and up all hours of the day and night, into an empty-nester’s dream. Sometimes I have just done things myself when it is all about ‘me’, and I am the only one who can know what is best. And sometimes I have reached out for support. 

Lessons I have learned:

• It’s ok to ask for help
• It’s ok to accept help when it is offered
• Sometimes the person I ask isn’t ready or willing and that is ok
• Everything can wait, nothing is that critical

When you think of a job site where a home is being built. Everyone has a task that is equal to their skill. If the architect micro-manages by putting screws into the floor boards and hanging light fixtures, that is a waste of resources. The architect gives his energy and skill to the planning stage of the home. The laborer gives his energy and skill to screwing floor boards. The electrician gives his energy and skill to hanging light fixtures.

I am reminded of my high school volleyball days. Each of the six players has their area to cover. If I run around trying to hit every ball that comes over to our side, I am getting in the way of someone else doing their part, and I will wear myself out!

This is easy to see on a volleyball court. But what about in your own daily life? Do you micro-manage because you can’t trust that someone else will do their job? Do you volunteer for jobs that are better suited for others? In both cases you are taking someone else’s opportunity to shine away from them and wearing yourself out. 

When we show up in our genius and let others show up in theirs, we are strengthened together. We each have natural abilities. Some have the gift of leadership, some caring for children, some building houses. Ego and pride are the enemies of trust and teamwork. 

I go into great detail about this subject of playing to your strengths and letting others play to theirs in the Chapter on the Gateway of Charity in my new book The Seven Gateways – Your Map to Integrity in Life and Busines

When we see the greatness in others, we benefit in three ways:

• I am free to do other things that are mine to do (my gifts)
• I gain the essential skill of TRUST within the team effort
• I use less energy so we all

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