My daughter came over last night as she and I had a plan to work on art projects together. She is sewing a stuffed doll for a friend for Christmas, and I am finishing an oil painting.

It took us over an hour to get started because we were so engaged in conversation. At one point she looked at the clock and said “Wow! I talk alot!”

It is true she was doing most of the talking and I was listening. I was listening to learn what she had been up to the past week since I had seen her. I was listening for clues of how she is feeling emotionally, physically, spiritually. I was listening for ways I might be able to serve her.

During our 90 second meditation this morning, I was listening to learn as well. I realized that I have had times in my life when I have not felt safe to share my true feelings with others. Even now, I know there are some people I can be completely open with and others who will not listen to learn.

How can we be better listeners?

We listen with our ears, yes, but body language is an even greater indicator of what the person is really saying. We can tell a lot about a person when the body language doesn’t match up with the words. And even when the body language matches up with the words, we all have an innate sense of truth. We can evaluate the energy of a person to know if we can trust what they are saying.

There is counterfeit and authenticity in all things.

Our communication with each other either creates or destroys. Listening to learn for positive growth is creating. Listening to learn for negativity or judgement (as in gossip) is destroying.

Each unique individual has our own set of beliefs and experiences. Therefore, we are not really hearing the person. We are hearing a conglomerate of that person’s beliefs and experiences. Since no two individuals has the same background (even within a family), there is no way we can really know for absolute certainty precisely what that person means. Even if we are listening intently.

So intuition must come into play.

We have to be able to turn off our own agenda and listen with our hearts to know if and when to respond, and what to say if something is required.

I have heard words come out of my mouth that are not my words. And they have been perfect for the situation. God knows each of us and He knows how to guide us and others in being the perfect sounding board for each other.

Listening to learn minimizes struggle, helps us make better choices, and connects us like nothing else can. Understanding comes when we step out of ego, of waiting for our turn to talk, and simply listen to learn.

Today, I Give Myself Permission to Be Heard

• I trust that I am heard
• I trust my intuition to know exactly how to respond
• I respect the desire to be heard
• I give myself permission to share my opinion
• All opinions are valid
• I share confidently
• I am confident in my value
• I am a team player

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