It’s Greece, Baby: Zechariah, Philosophy, and the Prequel to Jesus

Strap in, heathens — it’s our first live Sunday show on Discord, and we’re ditching American politics for some good ol’ biblical timeline chaos. In this episode, we break down where the hell ancient Greece fits into the biblical soap opera, and spoiler alert: the timeline’s a mess, Zechariah’s tripping balls, and God’s still MIA when it comes to calendar invites.

We time-travel through the post-Babylonian exile, where prophets are clinging to fire-and-brimstone theatrics while Greece is out here inventing medicine, history, comedy, and gasp democracy. You’ll get a crash course in everything from the Battle of Marathon (not the kind you run) to the birth of the Septuagint — that sneaky Greek translation that slipped in philosophical terms like “logos” and “Sophia,” giving Yahweh a philosophical glow-up.

While the Israelites were rebuilding temples and fearing divine smitings, the Greeks were birthing Aristotle, Plato, and Hippocrates. Oh, and Alexander the Great? Total overachiever who conquered the known world without a damn GPS and spread Greek culture straight into Jerusalem. We tie it all together with a heavy dose of sarcasm, history nerdery, and secular side-eye — because yes, the Bible is deeply affected by the Hellenistic world... and no, God didn’t think of democracy first.

👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com

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📌 Topics Covered:

• “How Greece crashed the Bible party: a timeline clusterfuck”
• “Zechariah loses his shit during Persian-Greek tensions”
• “The Septuagint: when Greek translators gave Yahweh a philosophy major”
• “Hippocrates, Herodotus, Socrates, and Plato vs. some dudes building a temple”
• “Battle of Marathon, Thermopylae, and Salamis — no, not the meats”
• “Alexander the Great: conqueror, philosopher fanboy, cultural blender”
• “Why Christianity is basically Greco-Jewish fanfiction”
• “Logos and Sophia: how Greek word choices helped birth Christian theology”

💬 Best Quote from the Episode:

“If God’s so powerful, why didn’t he invent democracy or, I don’t know — a damn calendar?”

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