In today's episode of the Mastering The Life Podcast, your host Paul Lowe interviews Cherri Forsyth. Today, they talk about grief and how to overcome grief. Cherri had lost Kerry, her young daughter when she was 41 years old and it took her immense faith and durability to overcome her grief.  Her husband, however, took 11 years to be able to recover from the loss that he has experienced.

It is not an easy situation when you lose someone. But you have a choice - you can be a victim forever or you can use your situation to become a better person. What would you choose?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Grief. In the western culture, we do not discuss grief at all. We are expected to get back to normal, getting on with things early. Our culture kind of dismisses grief as not important; like something you can get over quickly like an illness or a cold. It's like you get hurt and then be back to normal again. In the western culture, Cherri thinks we don’t allow the healing process
• Misunderstanding. People think that you will go back to normal as time passes. But no, you will never go back to your old self again. It is either you stay in victimhood or become a better person.
• Time. We do need the process and  time to heal us. But it is what we do over the time that will really determine how strong we are. Overcoming the grieving process or maybe how positively we overcome the process of grieving.
• Overcoming grief. There are no hard rules on when a person can overcome a grief. Why? It really depends on how close you are to the person. Or if you had a row with a person before he/ she met an accident, the feelings of guilt will also affect the whole situation. Or if it is a suicide, a lot of questions can come up in your mind, a lot of what if I did these… I could have prevented it, etc. You certainly would not be able to tell. But once you come out on the other side, you will be stronger and be a better person, provided that you allow the journey to do its work.
• Positive mindset. This is such a gift. You are experiencing a really dark and painful process, but a positive mindset allows you to know that things will get better in time. Whereas if you don't have a positive mindset, you can't know that things will get better. There is hope if you have a positive mindset. There's a there's less anxiety around. It plays an enormous role.
• Physical condition. This will affect our ability to overcome our grieving process. Your body is in a weak place. Your mind is also weak. For example, two elderly people lost someone, how will their body cope up with the grieving process?
• Relationships. During the grieving process, some loved ones will be with you. Unfortunately, some won’t be with you. Relationships are taken away, but on the other hand, new ones are given to you; people that you don’t expect who will come to your side during the whole process. This will make you stop and think. We can release all of that negativity. Be loving, you don’t have to wait till someone dies to do that.
• Growth. When Cherri lost her daughter Kerry, it made her realise that she knows nothing. There are volumes of things to learn. Being challenged because you are in the process of grieving or being challenged because of a friend who is not there to support us. And then you realise that you have already grown a lot since then. Harness the hardship to make it work for you.
• Angel mums. These are mothers who have lost their children.
• Contribution. When you are in a stronger place, grieving people could be of immense value to the other people who are still starting the journey.
• Purpose. When Cherri was about 18 years old she received a poem about a child that is given to her for a short period of time to look after and then she goes back. She remembered that poem. Why would she remember that poem unless it is part of the purpose of her life to experience the loss of a child, and then be able to help them in dealing with loss. She feels that as far as the grieving journey is concerned, a part of our purpose is to overcome loss challenges across the board and loss is one of them.
• Prosperity. The wealth of the relationships of the people in our lives and that is what makes us rich. In the grieving side, if you have a lot of people walking alongside you during the journey of grieving then you are very healthy.
• Philanthropy. Ubuntu is a South African term which means embracing and helping humanity and it's a lovely principle. If Cherri hadn't experienced the loss of Kerry, she knows that she wouldn't be in that position to able to help those associations.

BEST MOMENTS
“Attitude is very damaging for people who are in the process of mourning for a loved one.”

“The grief actually probably expedite the process even more because what we may recognise that pain in small doses is very good because it's a great lever for change. Suffering certainly isn't... There's no benefits to suffering at all... unless we can use it as a very strong powerful lever for change for the better obviously.”

"Let’s use the people that have died that are close to us that we loved so much. Let’s use them to inspire us to be better every day in the way we’re living our lives.”

VALUABLE RESOURCES

• Speaking From Our HEARTS (Paul's Book): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Speaking-our-Hearts-Mastering-game/dp/1781332819

Emerging From The Forest (Paul's Book): Paul Lowe - ‘Emerging From The Forest’

http://www.paullowehearts.com/

ABOUT THE HOST

Something that’s never been attached to Paul is the label ‘normal’ – for which he is immensely proud.  He definitely subscribes to being one of those mentioned – in the Steve Jobs quote:

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Paul Lowe is the founder of PaulLoweHEARTS – which has a three-fold purpose. 

Firstly, to help you make the transition from Pain to Purpose; secondly, to get your inspirational messages and stories out into the world and thirdly, to support charitable organisations in their development & fund-raising.

We achieve this by:

• Delivering our empowering Mindset For Success programmes
• Sharing your true-life inspirational messages and stories through our Mastering Life Podcast and our Speaking From Our HEARTS book series
• Utilising our significant charitable knowledge and experience.

Find Your Purpose – Make  A Difference!

Paul is totally committed to his HEARTS brand vision (an acronym) of:

‘Helping Everyone Achieve Results Towards Success’.

He has a long and distinguished track-record of raising significant funds for a multitude of good causes; positively changing the lives of many disadvantaged children within the UK and globally – drawing on his colourful and wide-ranging life’s experiences to help others do the same and achieve success in the game of life.

“Remember – Mastering Life Starts, By Embracing Our HEARTS!”

CONTACT METHOD

E-mail: [email protected]

Web: www.PaulLoweHEARTS.com

Facebook: PaulLoweHEARTS

Twitter: @paullowehearts

Instagram: paullowehearts

YouTube: PaulLoweHEARTS

Mobile: +44 (0) 7958 042 155

ABOUT THE GUEST

Cherri Forsyth resides in South Africa and through her Life Vision coaching business, operates as a Peak Performance Coach; helping people become the very best they can be – in all areas of their lives.

As well as having a very significant track record of achieving results through her Authentic & Whole-hearted Living approach, she also specialises in ‘Journey Through Loss’ workshops.

Cherri is a truly remarkable lady and one that is the epitome of the resilience of the human spirit; having undergone the trauma of losing a child, adultery and dealing with crippling illness.

http://www.lifevision.co.za/

[email protected]