She ain't getting old! Dammit. Now, listen, we have a lot to talk about. There's Amy's startling new fashion obsession. There's a new Frenchie in our lives, and she snores. Bay's eclipse menu is more like a bridal shower, and we all want to go to St. Louis to see Amy's new foster dog. Finally, programmers, help Vocabulary Vixen out: How do you say the singular of "parentheses"???

• Project Runway's Season 16 - Should we hate the twins? (Bay doesn't.) (Yet.)
• Amy likes house dresses, but doesn't wear 'em to Walmart.
• The horror of Ta Ta Towels!
• ALOHA!!!!!
• She snores. We die.
• Where are y'all parking for the Great American Eclipse of 2017?
• French Bulldog National Specialty's gonna be in St. Louis!