Today I’m reading from my journal about growth and inaction. The realisation that growth isn’t linear really hit me this week and made me think about the way I gamify self development and assumed it would be like levels I could accomplish, then not have to deal with again. But instead, I’ve realised in life, not only is it not black and white, with only one person ever being fully in the wrong in a situation but both parties having some responsibility but also, you’ll be tested with similar situations and people you thought you had handled but they’ll come in new ways to test your growth and if it can withstand different circumstances.

Haley Hoffman Smith’s podcast episode on procrastination also inspired me to think about the shadow side of things we want. That level of wealth or successful business you want - what is the underbelly you are scared of that comes with achieving it? Perhaps accepting there's sacrifice and uncomfortable realisations you'll be confronted with like loneliness, having to distance from friends, working more on responsibilities. These can stop you moving towards your goals because you secretly are scared of the things you’ll have to deal with once you get there. After all, the duality of life means everything has its pros and cons.

Also, the insulation we falsely believe will come by working on ourselves reminds me of the belief that we’ll be happy when we’re rich or famous, when really we’ll still be the same human beings dealing with the same internal conflicts unless we accept growth isn’t linear and that’s okay.

Credits:

Haley Hoffman Smith: What is Procrastination Protecting You From?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3vny1gMDIffRVaJWsfivOu?si=lUghufl3QDa3rcjV0cd2mw

(Music by Wataboi: U Said It - https://soundcloud.com/wataboi/u-said-it-soundcloud)