fter a couple of relatively in-depth episodes the gang settle back into their old routine, loosen their belts and have a good old natter about the best books to read on the holiest of holes. Basic practicalities such as portability, absorbency (i.e. attention spans) and the cloth-touching of family trouser-turtles are all mulled over and given the serious consideration they deserve.

Meanwhile welcome distractions are provided by a hacking cough, the cheapskate Ambassador of Ferrero Rocher and Blue Peter ladies - both totty and notty.

Books and authors discussed include The Green Mile, The Yellow Wallpaper, Robert Bloch, Blood Sword, Leather Goddesses Of Phobos, Charles Dickens, The Lottery, The Running Man, HP Lovecraft and Legends. Strangely no mention is made of Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop, for which I apologise.

We do however mention a website from which you can get access to a whole bunch of free stories online – here’s the link http://freesf.blogspot.com/

Send your entries for the banner and logo competition flooding in to [email protected] and for the sake of economy you can use the same e-mail address to contact us about joining in with the Scrolls Book Group podcast – open to all.

I’m on Twitter now @Dion_Scrolls so I’d love to get any feedback there, on the forums at http://www.gsforums.co.uk via e-mail or on the comments section below. So much choice!

Music is as ever by Steadman - except for the jazzy bit at the start which came off of some crappy cd I got free with a cocktail shaker a few years back.

I should probably add that we are giggly and explicit from the beginning, but not so distasteful as to be graphic. Well, not that graphic. Wuss. Strap yourselves in, it’s going to be a bum-py ride.