We talk a lot about rest like it's something we can take whenever, but this episode is about the other kind — the burnout that doesn't ask politely. The kind that makes you stop, break down, and rebuild yourself from the ground up.

GST sits down with Gary Lamont Davis — People and Inclusion Strategist and founder of Equanimity, a wellness community for BIPOC professionals — for an honest conversation about burnout and the revelations waiting on the other side of the break.

For so many of us — especially those who've spent a lifetime code-switching, over-functioning, and holding it all together for everyone else — burnout isn't a buzzword. It's a breaking point. But sometimes the break is also the breakthrough. Sometimes you have to fall apart to find out who you actually are underneath all that performing.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE EXPLORE:

• What burnout actually looks like (beyond "I'm tired")
• The break that forced a reckoning
• Why high-achievers and helpers burn out hardest
• The revelations that only come when you finally stop
• How Equanimity was born from the journey
• Rebuilding on your own terms — and what grounds you now

If you've ever pushed yourself past empty trying to be everything for everyone, this conversation is for you.

Connect with Gary at:
healingisahabit.substack.com 
[email protected]

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Life has been LIFE-ing.


Before the return episode with Chelsea, GurlSeeksTribe host Afiya aka Alja sat down and recorded a few honest minutes about where she's been these last couple of months. It didn't make the original edit — but it always belonged to the tribe. So here it is.


This is the first letter to the tribe — a laid-back, occasional community post in a format that feels more like a voice note than a full-on conversation. Consider it a personal audio from the host in between the bigger conversations. 


In this letter, Alja lets us know where she's been for the last few months, what she's learned about relationships in the silence, and what she hopes to explore with GST soon. 

No guest. No polish. No over-explaining. Just a check-in, tribe to tribe.

Tell us what you think about this check-in, then -->

LISTEN NEXT:
→ GST EP 7: "The Relief of Being Understood" Part 1 (w/ Chelsea Marquis)
→ GST EP 8: "The Relief of Being Understood" Part 2 (w/ Chelsea Marquis)
→ COMING TUESDAY: "Burnout Break Revelations" (w/ Gary Lamont Davis)

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

We're continuing our conversation with Honorary Tribe Member Chelsea Marquis in Part 2 of "The Relief of Being Understood."


In Part 1, we talked about the difference between being "understood" and being "tolerated" — and the pain of being fooled by someone who you thought got you but really didn't.


Now, in Part 2, we go deeper into the RELIEF. What it actually feels like when someone truly sees you. How to recognize your Vivaldi people when you find them. And what it means to BE that relief for someone else.


If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, both parts dropped today — go back and start there. This conversation builds.

IN PART 2, WE EXPLORE:

• The relief of being understood — what it actually feels like
• Finding your people who just GET it (without explanation)
• How to recognize your Vivaldi people
• What it means to be someone else's relief
• Advice for those still searching for their people
• Tribe Scribes: Rapid-fire with Chelsea

This is the conversation we wish we'd had years ago. We're so glad you're here for it.


CHELSEA'S PREVIOUS GST EPISODES:
GST EP 4 "When You're Too Little and Too Much at the Same Time" Part 1
GST EP 5 "When You're Too Little and Too Much at the Same Time" Part 2
GST EP 6 "The Exhaustion of Explaining Yourself"
GST EP 7: "The Relief of Being Understood" Part 1

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

GurlSeeksTribe makes its return, with a new conversation with Honorary Tribe Member Chelsea Marquis, who joins GST for yet another conversation about something that feels more real than we can put into words. 

Continuing from our last chat on "The Exhaustion of Explaining Yourself," or the burnout of constantly translating who you are for people who just... don't get it, we dig into the RELIEF of finally being understood. You know, the moment when someone just GETS it. Straight recognition without much explanation.

If you've ever been tired of feeling like you always have to explain - and craving the relief of being truly seen, then this two-part episode is for you. 

In Part 1, WE EXPLORE: 

• A quick check-in with Chelsea to see where she's been
• What it means to be "understood" vs. "tolerated." 
• Being "Fooled" by someone's understanding nature
• The Vivaldi moment - when someone finally understands

Be sure to listen on for Part 2 of this thoughtful conversation 


CHELSEA'S FIRST EPISODE:
GST EP 4 "When You're Too Little and Too Much at the Same Time" Part 1
GST EP 5 "When You're Too Little and Too Much at the Same Time" Part 2
GST EP 6 "The Exhaustion of Explaining Yourself"

CONNECT WITH CHELSEA MARQUIS:
@Chelz_222 

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Chelsea Marquis returns to GurlSeeksTribe to discuss the weight we carry when we're constantly explaining who we are.


From family who should know us by now, to friends and peers who still don't quite get it, and to our colleagues and strangers who expect us to translate ourselves into something more digestible.


This episode is about that exhaustion. The toll of translation. The burnout of always being the one who has to make themselves understood.


If you've ever felt like you needed to take a break from explaining yourself because you're just so damn tired, well, this episode sees you.


WE EXPLORE:
- The burnout of explaining yourself over and over
- The toll of constant code-switching and translation
- What gets lost when you're always making yourself palatable
- How to protect your energy when you're depleted
- Finding pockets of rest in the exhaustion
- Permission to stop explaining


CHELSEA'S FIRST EPISODE:
→ "When You're Too Much and Too Little" Part 1 [Link]
→ "When You're Too Much and Too Little" Part 2 [Link]

CONNECT WITH CHELSEA MARQUIS: @Chelz_222


CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

How do you manage navigating the world when you're too loud, too intense, too much... while also feeling like you're never quite enough?

In this episode of GurlSeeksTribe, host Alja sits down with special guest Chelsea Marquis, former Adult-ish co-host, catches up with Chelsea's life since Adult-ish, before digging into the impossible standards we are sometimes held against — either by others or by ourselves.

In the final part of this two-part session, we discuss the importance of teaching children how to speak for themselves to learn to expand, Alja's realization of liberation, and Chelsea's journey to find people who get her "ness" as she continues to build a home away from home. 

We also do a cute little segment to get to know Chelsea better with a few Tribe Scribe questions, aka questions from the audience! 

If you've ever felt like too much for some people and not enough for others, this episode is for you.

WE EXPLORE:
- The cost of making ourselves smaller
- When "too much" became a celebration instead of an insult
- Finding your tribe - the people who want your fullness
- Advice for anyone still in the shrinking phase

... and so much more. 

In case you missed it, be sure to go back and listen to Part 1, so check out the GST Episode 4! 

CONNECT WITH CHELSEA MARQUIS:
@chelz222 on IG

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

How do you manage navigating the world when you're too loud, too intense, too much... while also feeling like you're never quite enough?


In this episode of GurlSeeksTribe, host Alja sits down with special guest Chelsea Marquis, former Adult-ish co-host, catches up with Chelsea's life since Adult-ish, before digging into the impossible standards we are sometimes held against — either by others or by ourselves.

In the first part of this two-part session, the ladies discuss what it means to take up a lot of space and feel the exhaustion of shrinking ourselves to fit spaces that didn't feel right for them. And we even touch on how Chelsea is passing this knowledge on to the future generation. 

This is a conversation about reclaiming "too much" as power. About finding the people who want ALL of you. About shrinking less and expanding as far as you can.


If you've ever felt like too much for some people and not enough for others, this episode is for you.

WE EXPLORE:
- Chelsea's life as a proud boy mom 
- The impossible standards put on us -- and how Chelsea is perfect, because 'Duh!
- Messages from family, work, and society that made us shrink
- The cost of making ourselves smaller
... and so much more. 

We enjoyed the convo and kept it going, so check out GST Episode 5 for Part 2! 

CONNECT WITH CHELSEA MARQUIS:
@chelz222 on IG

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Who told you who you were supposed to be?


In Episode 3 of GurlSeeksTribe, we explore the weight of expectations—from family, culture, society—and what happens when the person you were told to be doesn't match the person you actually are.


This episode is about unlearning. Unbecoming. And finally, allowing yourself to become who you were always meant to be.

In this solo chat, host Alja discusses:

- Being shaped by the expectations of your family
- Family scripts and cultural "shoulds."
- The gap between who you are and who you were told to be
- The relief of finally dropping the mask
- Unlearning as a form of self-discovery
- Allowing yourself to become — even when it's messy


This episode is for anyone who's ever felt like they're living the life someone else has determined for them. For the people-pleasers. The "good ones." The ones who followed the script and still felt empty after doing it. The ones who had the courage to enter the land of "becoming." 

You're allowed to change. You're allowed to become. Your story isn't finished.

CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Welcome back to GurlSeeksTribe.


WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SEEK TRIBE?
In this episode, we explore what it actually means to "seek tribe" in a world that's more connected than ever but somehow lonelier. Why is finding your people so hard? And what are we really looking for when we search for community?


We discuss:
- The difference between community and tribe
- Why millennials are lonelier than ever despite being "connected"
- The third space crisis and where we're supposed to meet people
- What authentic community actually looks like
- How to recognize your tribe when you find them
This episode is for anyone who's tired of surface-level connections and ready to find their people.
If you resonated with Episode 1's Vivaldi moment, this episode takes it deeper: okay, we know we're "other" - now how do we find others who get it?
DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Loneliness statistics and the millennial experience
- What makes a tribe different from friends or family
- The loss of third spaces in our cities
- Red flags vs. green flags in community
- Why vulnerability is the price of admission
CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
🌐 Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
📸 Instagram: @gurlseekstribe  
✉️ Email: [email protected]
Join our community events: gurlseekstribe.com/events
New episodes every Tuesday.


CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe. 

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Welcome to GurlSeeksTribe - a podcast and community for anyone seeking belonging as they navigate adulthood in the city.

In this inaugural episode, I share my otherness origin story, aka my "Vivaldi Moment".  And that moment changed everything  — even the trajectory of my podcast, Adult-ish. 

This episode explores what it means to be "the other" - to navigate spaces where you don't see yourself reflected, to feel like you're always in between, to spend your life searching for your tribe. If you've ever felt different, this episode is for you. If you've ever felt like you don't belong, this episode is for you. If you're still searching for your people, hopefully, this episode is for you. 

WHAT'S IN THIS EPISODE:
- What is a "Vivaldi moment" and why does it matter?
- The difference between fitting in and belonging
- What it means to be othered and why it's important to build our own community 
- The birth of GurlSeeksTribe and what we're building together 
- How to be a part of the GST network

This is the foundation. This is where we start. This is why your story belongs here.



CONNECT WITH GURLSEEKSTRIBE:
Website: www.gurlseekstribe.com
Email: [email protected] 
Instagram: @gurlseekstribe
TikTok: @gurlseekstribe

SUBSCRIBE: Never miss an episode. New episodes bi-weekly. Your story belongs here. 
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

JOIN THE TRIBE: Visit gurlseekstribe.com to join our community, attend workshops, and connect with others seeking their tribe.