Have you ever tried so hard to watch a movie but you just couldn't pay attention to what's happening? Comedian James Mullan and I ran into this problem while watching H-E Double Hockey Sticks, a Will Freidle comedy so profoundly mediocre that it takes amazingly crazy town banana pants material and makes it, dare I say, hellish.   This episode is brought to you by our guest pretending to wear headphones, creating horrific echo on the audio track that I mostly was able to fix. Mostly.

H-E Double Hockey Sticks

The complete oral history of Disney Channel Original Movies (DCOMs) from A to Zenon! Hosted weekly by Zach Heltzel.

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Join Zach and his new friend Kate, host of the podcast Defrauded, as they go deep down the interdimensional wormhole in the ocean that seems to exist to connect the real world to a cosmic prison trapping a bunch of hunky teens in a 1960s beach movie. You can find DEFRAUDED here: https://player.fm/series/defrauded

Teen Beach 2

Horror writer and filmmaker Adrian Martel joins us to talk DESCENDANTS 2, letting Beto O'Rourke bust our windpipes, and the blanket I got from my current / his old employer.

Descendants 2

We are joined by a pair of DCOM superfans this week who found my personal email address and used it to guilt trip me into bringing the podcast back. At two points, my phone goes off and you can faintly hear Carly Rae Jepsen scream "Oh yeah! A sword!"

Bad Hair Day

After a nine-month hiatus so Zach could pursue his dream of s-ing his own D and dying, Zetus Lapodcast is back with a brand new episode! We are joined this week by Sam Herbst, host of THE KIDMANIFESTO, to talk about "Freaky Friday," the musical re-remake of the Jodie Foster/Gaby Hoffmann/Lindsay Lohan movies of the same name. This movie has everything! In true DCOM fashion, this movie doesn't shy away from musical numbers about uptight housewives wanting to have intercourse with teenage boys. The plot is essentially The Purge meets The Babadook. There is a direct reference to Brokeback Mountain.

Freaky Friday

We were almost joined by #nofilter host Zack Peter this week. In fact, we spent over an hour talking with him about The Grove, Ren Stevens's life as a wife and mother, the geographic eccentricities of Los Angeles, and a whole lot more! However, the recording software went haywire and almost the entire episode was lost, so instead of delaying a week and re-recording, I decided to improvise because I'm too emotionally fraught right now to even spend another moment thinking about this lousy "Stuck in the Suburbs" knockoff.

H-E Double Hockey Sticks

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