Paul and Barnabas were a great missionary team. On their first tour, Barnabas’ cousin, a young man named John Mark, had joined them. But it seems he had grown homesick and returned to Jerusalem. On their second missionary tour, Barnabas wanted to take John Mark with them again, but Paul said no. ‘Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark…Paul chose Silas’ (vv. 39-40 NLT). If two spiritual giants couldn’t resolve their conflict and come to an agreement, it’s something we’re likely to struggle with at some time too. Paul was a totally focused, no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point person. Barnabas, whose name means ‘son of encouragement’, was a long-suffering and lovable person who believed in reconciliation and refused to cross anybody off his list. There are two valuable lessons in this story about handling disagreements. 1) When it comes to our friends and family members, we can have blind spots. It can be difficult for people to look beyond a blood bond and focus on what’s best in the long run. As a result, the vision God gave them often suffers. 2) Sometimes we need a wise and trusted third party to help resolve a problem. When it comes to trouble in the church, Jesus laid down clear guidelines. First, we must go privately, one to one, and deal with the issue. Second, if that doesn’t work, we should take one or two others with us and try to resolve it. Third, we must take the situation to mature spiritual leaders and get their input (see Matthew 18:15-18). That’s the scriptural way to handle disagreements, and we must make it our way too.

What Now?

Are you facing a disagreement with anyone? Try to follow the steps in Matthew 18:15-18 in resolving it.