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"Increasing your tolerance for discomfort is how you master yourself.  The difficult conversations, the uncomfortable silence, the adversity. This is where you grow the most.  Learn to not only accept your discomfort, but to embrace it. Discomfort is the mystery of existence, just as comfort is".  

These words brought me to question, how can we as people change our perspective on adversity and handle discomfort that typically comes during the holiday season when surrounded by various friends and family. In this episode I mention my own tendency to often lean avoidant by choosing not to acknowledge the truth when dealing with the people I love. I really had the belief that telling people what they wanted to hear was a form of love. I believed that my actions of avoiding difficult discussions,  never rocking the boat, never making anyone uncomfortable, made me a good friend and family member. 

This season I challenge you to face the situations you're running from with that loved one. Don't view this season of discomfort as a punishment in your life. This adversity is pushing you. This adversity is forcing you to be your most authentic self and you are becoming healed. The truth does not always feel good. Often we easily get offended or disregard the areas in our lives where we truly need improvement and where we still have room for growth. 

It took several discussions, but recently I spoke to my mom about the ways I felt she abandoned my emotions. I was open and expressed how her recent words and actions made me feel. As much as I was triggered and angered by her actions of jumping to quick conclusions and what felt like she was putting me down, for once in my life I feel she finally understood my point of view. She apologized and we both agreed that it is okay to tell your loved ones "Im sorry I made you feel this way" even if you don't understand their ideals.  If I chose to simply tell my mom what she wanted to hear or never acknowledge the ways I often felt gaslit by here, we would still be in the same unfortunate position, several months and years from now.  It took me really leaning into my discomfort to show up as my authentic self, acknowledge why I've been triggered and effectively communicate with my mother from an emotional standpoint. 

If you have been struggling with connection and find discomfort in your family dynamic, I want you to know that I see you. You are not alone. Find an outlet that allows you to face whats uncomfortable, whether that is having a difficult conversation, picking up the phone or simply journaling your emotions and experiences. Sometimes its the thing that does not feel god that we need to hear the most!

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