Welcome to Bibbidi Bobbidi Botox, where fairy tales are fed through a meat grinder and beauty standards are stitched together with regret. In this elective from hell, the Night School Horror faculty rip into The Ugly Stepsister, a tale soaked in blood, botox, and body horror. Prepare for a curriculum that includes facial reconstruction, cocaine inspired lashes, and a fashion-forward use of insects no runway could survive. We’re not just analyzing trauma—we’re contouring it.

Do you have an Ugly Stepsister dying to go to the ball? Enroll today (aka smash that subscribe button) and leave us a 5-star review—so Mista Malave can show up at her doorstep in a bloody tux and ask her to the dance, no fairy godmother, wand, or emotional stability required.

The Ugly Stepsister hits U.S. theaters April 18, UK theaters April 25, and bleeds onto digital platforms May 9.

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