Harry faces his first task: a heist of the horde of a hostile Hungarian Horntail! Then something even more serious: he needs a date for the dance and he doesn't know any girls! We also find out what wise readers already knew, that Hermione is All That.

We are Alice Sullivan (@alicemsullivan), Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake (@jeff_lake).

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Music: Backyard Adventure by Hans Hylkema, licensed under CC-BY 4.0.