Today, we dive headfirst into the shadowy weirdness of Skinwalker Ranch and the legendary Alabama White Thang (which, for legal reasons, is not Lauren’s husband—though he wishes he had that kind of cryptid clout).

Before we can even hit “record,” both Lauren and Courtney get jump-scared by absolutely nothing—or maybe something—lurking just out of sight. Was it a ghost? A trick of the light? A producer stirring? No one knows, but Courtney screamed first, so she loses.

Meanwhile, Lauren reveals an alarming truth: she is, in fact, a ham radio. Please adjust your frequencies accordingly.

Sadly, no Mischa ASMR this week—our resident chaos gremlin is in a REM-cycle boss fight, chasing either a rabbit… or a mouse… or possibly a squirrel. Nature is unclear.

Strap in, turn your nightlight on, and prepare for cryptids, confusion, and Courtney mispronouncing at least three things. Welcome to another episode of the show your therapist warned you about.