“Hate” is a word many of us used as kids. We blurted it out when we felt controlled, ignored, or blocked from what we wanted, and then an hour later we were fine. Relationship therapist Terrence Real calls the adult version of that flare “normal marital hatred”: not abuse, not contempt, not a sign you married the wrong person, but a temporary spike of anger that can surface when boundaries are crossed, independence is squeezed, hormones and stress are high, or resentment has been left to build. In this episode, we talk about why it happens, how to tell the difference between a passing flare and something more serious, and what to do in the moment so your relationship bends instead of breaks.