Hayden Davidson just started a college intern job at Tabernacle Baptist Church in Cartersville, doing the tasks of the class teachers while the teachers are working at full-time jobs.Hayden just finished his freshman year at Georgia Highlands College. Hayden recommends going the community college route, as he did, to save money. Hayden spent $600 on tuition for 16 credit hours his first year.Hayden was born and raised in Rome, Georgia. When he was 10, starting fifth grade, he and his younger sister moved to Dubai, UAE with their parents. His mother had gotten a job as a teacher of English, Mathematics, and Science in the UAE. Hayden lived in the UAE until he was 16. Hayden’s father got a job teaching sixth grade at an international Christian school there. That’s the school Hayden attended.Hayden experienced extreme culture shock moving to a Muslim country. The clothing was different. He had never seen a mosque. Hayden and his sister rode to school with their father. Their mother had a 45-minute drive to the school where she taught. Hayden says the schools in the UAE had more holidays than in the U.S., including longer periods at Christmas and spring break. Every Eid (festival) was a holiday.Eight million people live in the UAE. Two million of them are locals (Emiratis). Four million were either from India, Bangladesh, or Pakistan. The rest were British, European, American, Australian, or Asian. The youth have a range of interests, video games, soccer, rugby, and cricket, or cars. They love any type of motorsport. Formula One racing is huge.

 

Hayden played shortstop and pitcher in the Dubai Little League. In the summer, at ages 11 and 12, Hayden traveled with a team through Eastern Europe, Asia, and the Philippines, playing baseball. The winner of the tournament was to go to the Little League Baseball® World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Among the 14 people on Hayden’s team, most were from America. The team that won the 2014 Little League World Series, South Korea, beat Hayden’s team “Horrendously.” Playing teams from many countries, Hayden learned about many cultures. At the end of the tournament in the Philippines, there was a big banquet with traditional dances of the various nations. Hayden kept in touch with his parents through WhatsApp messaging. He did not have an unlimited cellular plan.

 

The first year Hayden played, they went six and three. The second-year they went into tournament play. That was their best year. The third-year they went six and three again and came in third in the tournament. In the years he didn’t have a tournament, the family would fly back to the U.S. in the summer. Hayden came back to the U.S. for good after five-and-a-half years, in the summer after his freshman year.Hayden shares his observations about life in the UAE. Local Emiratis have housemaids and nannies in the home and yard people and gardeners to do their outside work. Fathers and mothers left raising the children to nannies. In school, Hayden saw that most students had no respect for anybody except the Sheikh, the leader of their government. Teachers had trouble commanding the respect of their students. An Emirati student could report on a teacher he didn’t like and that teacher could be deported on the word of an Emirati student. There was no system to deal with unruly students. However, at the international Christian school, there were many students who were not Emiratis, and they had learned to be more respectful to authority.Hayden talks about the area where he lived. The city was divided into compounds where the homes were touching each other. Hayden’s friends in the compound were from many lands. In Hayden’s free time he would play basketball or American football with American friends. Some Emirati friends came over to learn about basketball and football. However, most Emiratis kept to themselves, especially the wealthy ones.Hayden’s American friends respected their parents. Among the Emiratis, the children did not have much interaction with their fathers. Most of the fathers had four or five wives, as the country allowed, and didn’t involve themselves much with the children. Hayden does not have much contact with his friends from that time besides the occasional DM on Instagram.In the UAE there are Christian churches all around the country. There was one in the town where Hayden’s family lived, but it was very different from the Christian church they had attended in the U.S. They found a church an hour away in Dubai, called Grace Church. The pastor was from Georgia and preached as a Baptist.Hayden shares how interesting it was to him growing up and seeing the similarities and differences between the Muslim religion and Christianity. He liked to compare his beliefs with the beliefs of his Muslim friends. He learned right away that being a Muslim is not the same as being a terrorist.Hayden was told that a man was allowed to have so many wives and could divorce a wife if he continued to provide for that wife and bought her a house. Hayden’s friend Fahad’s father had had six wives and had bought seven houses. Fahad’s father had divorced each wife. Each ex-wife had a house and the father lived in a separate house. The children of each ex-wife stayed with their mother.

 

Jim and Hayden discuss the multiple marriages of Abraham and how that practice has carried forward in the Muslim world.Hayden played football and baseball in the UAE. A friend of the family in the UAE who had played quarterback at the University of Georgia saw Hayden playing quarterback and he convinced Hayden’s parents to get Hayden back to play high school football in the U.S. because he had the potential to play collegiate football. They planned for Hayden to go back first, to Cartersville High School and the rest of the family would return home when the mother’s teaching contract was fulfilled. Hayden chose Cartersville because its Baseball coach, Stuart Chester, was a state championship coach and Hayden’s passion was baseball. Hayden hoped to play on a championship team under Coach Chester. The high school closest to Rome, where Hayden had lived before, did not have the same potential for baseball excellence. Hayden’s father knew Stuart Chester from Rotary, also.Hayden came to Cartersville for the summer with his mother and sister. His father stayed in the UAE with a new job. His mother and sister went back to the UAE in August and Hayden started his sophomore year at Cartersville High School. Hayden lived with his aunt and uncle for two-and-a-half years until his mother and sister moved back to the U.S. Hayden felt like he was going off to college, although he was 16. He did still miss his parents.Hayden talks about the differences between the behavior of his father and uncle. Hayden’s father was a strict disciplinarian. Hayden’s uncle demanded respect but he was more relaxed about discipline. Part of the difference was because he was Hayden’s uncle and not his father. Hayden’s father is very interested in football and American sports on television. Hayden’s uncle is very productive with his time doing yard work and other activities. Jim talks about how to reconcile having a different viewpoint from your father.Hayden wanted to live up to his parent's expectations. He didn’t want to disappoint them. At his aunt and uncle’s house, he was not as worried about messing up. After a few months, he learned that his aunt and uncle also did require a certain level of obedience from him.Back at his Baptist church, in Hayden’s first year he experienced the most growth in his faith. It was especially comfortable for him to speak to any of his neighbors and friends about his faith because they believed the same things. He didn’t have to worry about people getting upset by any statements of faith. In the South, Hayden could see hundreds of men who were in the word of God every day. Hayden’s father had not shown him the example of daily scripture reading or demonstrated how to be a godly man. Hayden learned a lot from his youth pastor. Hayden got a new outlook on what it means to be a Christian man. Jim and Hayden discuss the fundamentals: prayer, reading the Bible, fellowship, and outreach. At one point, Hayden was doing seven Bible studies a week and it seemed like a lot.

 

Hayden’s youth pastor drove 25 minutes to pick Hayden up to go to Bible study. He also bought Hayden breakfast. Hayden took it for granted and didn’t process at first how great a service that was for him. Recently, Hayden has received a testimony of how little acts of service are big things.Hayden talks about unrequited love with a young woman he met at Church. Hayden thought the relationship was from God but he ended up getting hurt. That disturbed his faith. He slowed down in the fundamentals and put all his attention into sports. Hayden excelled in sports. Hayden’s mother texted him daily. Hayden wasn’t always prompt to respond. Whenever his father texted him, it was about baseball or football.After an interview with his coach, Hayden had expected to be put on the varsity baseball team in a couple of weeks. It didn’t happen and at the end of the season, the coach told him it was because of his attitude. Hayden worked on his attitude and by senior year, he received an award for his good attitude.Hayden talks about his attitude in baseball. He started with a good attitude, but two players whose fathers were friends with the coach got called up before Hayden, and that hurt Hayden’s feelings and his attitude became negative. This was at the same time he was experiencing rejection by the young woman he liked. This became a time of adversity for Hayden. Meanwhile, he did not have his father at home to talk to about these matters. When Hayden prayed for God’s help on the field, it wasn’t for God’s glory that he prayed, but for his own desires. Hayden believes it was God’s purpose for him not to be called to the varsity team as a sophomore because he would have swelled with pride. When he got the Chip Turner award for having the best attitude in his senior year, he felt it was for how he had developed his character as a person.When Hayden faced adversity, he talked to his aunt and uncle for dating advice, to his father for sports advice, and to his youth pastor for faith advice.In Hayden’s junior year, he had learned to be responsible and stay on top of his academic tasks and chores at home. In Hayden's senior year, he learned there is more to life than sports. He had to figure out quickly what he was going to do outside of sports. As it turned out, Hayden did not get a sports scholarship for either football or baseball.In Hayden’s junior year, eight out of their nine starters were D1 starters but Hayden didn’t play much. He was in 17 innings out of over 40 games. He knew then that he was not getting a baseball scholarship or a career in professional baseball. It was a hard pill for him to swallow.

 

Hayden wanted to stay around sports. He started looking into physical therapy, kinesiology, and exercise science. He pursued that his first year in college but has recently started considering some sort of ministry.Hayden was a COVID-19 senior and his season got cut short. Hayden’s father texted him about baseball until the season got cut short. Then Hayden had an accident and had surgery on his shoulder. Three weeks after Hayden’s surgery was the last time he heard from his father. Hayden doesn’t know why his father stopped responding but when they had talked, it was only about sports. Hayden talks to his uncle still. No one in the family knows if his father is still alive.Hayden still needs counsel. “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:”  — Proverbs 1:5 (KJV) With the Spirit of God, you can discern the counsel you receive and apply it. With no counsel, it is easy to be tossed with the wind on the waves without direction.Hayden observed godly men and how they lived, but he wasn’t comfortable talking to them and receiving their counsel. He kept his concerns to himself. Only in the last two to three months Hayden has been willingly open to talking with godly men about his future. Hayden is still hurt that his father has not been in touch with him. He sees his friends going fishing, hunting, and to games with their fathers while he does not hear from his father.Hayden had a revelation that he can’t change his father’s choices or control him but he can prevent negativity from weighing him down for the rest of his life. Hayden sees that God used this experience to help him grow.Jim notes that quite a few men have grown up without fathers. Many boys are growing up without godly fathers to lead them. Jim affirms Hayden for his courage and for sharing his vulnerability. He respects Hayden for trusting God through adversity.Hayden is exploring getting into the ministry to give back what his youth leader has poured into him. He is coaching a 12-year-old baseball team, developing relationships with the young men, so when they are older, they will remember how Hayden encouraged them and they will want to encourage others. Hayden is learning to develop skills of being a youth pastor in a church to help young kids navigate life choices.Looking back, Hayden promises he will be there for his future children. Not having a father to talk to is a source of pain for him. He wants his future children not to experience that pain. He has also learned not to try to spite people because of negative interactions.Hayden’s counsel to young men who don’t have a father in their life: Find godly men of faith you respect to guide and encourage you. Let them teach you.Hayden shares his testimony of Jesus the Messiah, sent to earth to save us. He died on the cross for all of our sins and took the pain we were supposed to endure for our sins to show us His love. He rose on the third day after his crucifixion. He is the Son of God. Jesus lived his life on this earth as the perfect man. He went out and made disciples for God. He taught the world about God. He taught what it was to be a Christian man. Jesus is the Cornerstone of the foundation of faith.Jim reminds listeners that you need a Bible. Jim can send you a digital Bible if you contact him. Hayden asks any listener that comes from a similar background as he has to have faith. Hayden recalls the faith of Job through all the different trials he experienced that God will prevail. Hayden wants to have faith like Job. Hayden’s mother always told him, you don’t want to give up on God in the fourth quarter. Don’t stop praying before God answers your prayers. Hayden’s high school football coach was separated for many years from his father. After 26 years, he met his father and they have a relationship and share holidays. Hayden has forgiven his father. He loves him and he hopes to have a relationship with him again. He has come to terms with the fact that it is out of his control.

 

Call to Action: Jim’s call to action for older men: Let’s get in the game with great intent to invest all of our energy and our lives into the generations of young men behind us and let’s pour out our lives at these young men and let’s train and lead them on what godly, masculine behavior is. Let’s mark ourselves as men in how we live our lives and let’s stay after it for the benefit of others. Email any questions to Jim at [email protected].

 

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out and look for the next episode.

See our Website: MenBuildMen.comEmail: [email protected]

Marks of a Man on Facebook

Jim Nicklas on Instagram

 

Hayden Davidson on Instagram: @HGDavidson_24Georgia Highlands College

Tabernacle Baptist Church, Cartersville, GA

Dubai, UAECartersville High SchoolTrevor Lawrence