When someone asks you how do you feel, you say "good" even if you have been kicked in the face by a boot by someone you love. Lie to yourself and the people you know, because it's the only way you're going to get happy. The bad is going to go away. I was baking an apple pie and found it to be a metaphor for life. There might be a pubic hair on your pillow. You can plan, but things might come out like crap. Move on. It's good. Life is good. You say good because you could be dead. Come to my suicide seminars if you want. It's better to be stupid and on welfare than to be dead. Can I get an Amen?

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Produced by Mark Baratelli