Guess what a man is all about yet he doesn't know nor the society does! “Husbands should take good care of their wives, with [the bounties] God has given to some more than others and with what they spend out of their own money.” (Qur’an 4:34) 

To say that this verse has been repeatedly taken out of context would be an understatement. As Shaykh Younus Kathrada explains,  “When speaking of the qiwamah of a man over his wife (ie, his “authority” over her) as highlighted in the verse above, we need to realise that this is a burden and a responsibility, not an honour and favour. The man’s responsibility is not restricted to maintaining his wife financially i.e. housing, feeding her etc. He is also responsible for looking after her emotional, spiritual and physical needs and wellbeing.

Allah’s command is to treat wives kindly, with care, and on a footing of equity of what is acceptable. Al-qiwamah is in no way meant to turn the husband into some sort of dictator who thinks he is a master who orders and forbids and should be obeyed unrestrictedly.

There are so many nuances to look at when we look at these issues. One such nuance is that Allah did not say that males are qawwam over women; rather, He said “men” are qawwam. This is something we need to think about and ponder; for how many males are not really “men”?” If you truly believe in Allah, as he has ordained, then a woman does not need to please, and be abused by a man in order to reach God.