Healed Adjacent

Some people start their weird ass healing journey with a phone call.

Mine started through a wall....

in January 1996. 👀

A condo his mother owned. A key she never gave back. I was in the back room when she let herself in, and through the wall I heard the question that should have sent me running: “What if you have kids?”

I didn’t run. I chalked it up to “she hasn’t met me yet.” Then he married me anyway.

Thirty years later, two episodes of a true crime show, a hard drive I thought was gone, and one very rude question from Leslie Chow (“But did you die?”) cracked the case wide open. Turns out the man who gave me a camera to take pictures of the kids armed his own witness.

In this episode:

• Why advice like “forgive him” and “just move on” never sticks
• Why your brain rewinds the tape until it unravels on the floor
• How the call to heal finds you: not through advice, through a mismatch
• The archive I didn’t know I was building
• My first crack, and how fast it closed

If a friend sent you this, that’s your call. So tell me: what was your first crack?

Send your story to [email protected].

Content note: this episode discusses coercive control, emotional abuse, and intimate partner violence, including the Haight family case.

You can spend thousands of dollars on therapy, and nobody will ever hand you a certificate that says healed.

There isn’t one.

There’s just less chaos, less flooding, less explaining.

That’s not healed. That’s Healed adjacent.

In this first episode, im opening upt the cold case of my own life events that started somewhere around, January 1996: landline calls past midnight, a love that moved fast, and the first crack I filed under “He’s just having a bad day.”

We walk through

• How these relationships usually start (the vouch, the chance, the mirror, the speed, the pedestal)
• why coercive control is so hard to explain to people who haven’t lived it
• and why a therapist can read right through it when your friends can’t.

If a friend sent you this, it’s because they feel their secrets are SAFE with you.

Also, if you've got a story you want pulled apart, breadcrumb by breadcrumb? [email protected]

I am not taking guests yet but soon....😘

Coercive control · emotional abuse · financial abuse · parental alienation · BPD · NPD · Cluster B