Heart and Soulution

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, hosts Mike and Kristen Jones interview Dr. Harry Benson, a research director for the UK Marriage Foundation and author of Reliable Love, who discusses the psychology behind modern dating, marriage, and commitment. Dr. Benson shares his personal journey of rescuing his marriage from the brink of divorce and explains how contraception and cultural shifts have liberated men from the necessity of making meaningful commitments. He emphasizes the importance of signal theory and marriage as intentional sacrifices that provide necessary social accountability and stability for couples. Furthermore, he outlines practical relationship guidelines, including the two-year rule and the significance of selecting a marriageable partner characterized by kindness, honesty, and sacrifice. Ultimately, the conversation highlights that reliable love transcends fleeting emotions, requiring daily intentional choices, emotional intelligence, and clear relationship milestones to thrive.

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Additional Resources:

• Marriage foundation.org.uk
• Instagram: ⁠@harrybenson6
• Book: Reliable Love
• Book: Commit or Quit: The 'Two Year Rule' and other Rules for Romance
• Book: What Mums Want (and Dads Need to Know): Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said I Do
• Book: Let's Stick Together: The relationship book for new parents

Connect with Heart and Soulution: Follow on Instagram and join the conversation ⁠⁠@heartandsoulution⁠⁠.

Emmanuel Guarino, founder of Team Vulnerable, joins the Heart and Soulution podcast hosted by Mike and Kristen Jones to discuss overcoming pornography addiction through faith, vulnerability, and teamwork. Guarino shares his personal backstory of battling a hidden addiction that began at a young age and severely impacted his marriage, ultimately driving him to hit rock bottom and seek help from his wife, Becca. The conversation highlights how addiction is rarely just a sexual issue, but rather an escape from deeper emotional pain, and emphasizes that willpower alone is insufficient without a supportive community and spiritual foundation. Together, the hosts and their guest explore practical steps for recovery, the critical differences between shame and conviction, and how couples can work as a team to rebuild trust and pursue lasting healing.

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Additional Resources:

• For listeners looking for help: TeamVulnerable.com
• Instagram: @teamvulnerable and @_emmanuel_guarino

• YouTube: Team Vulnerable

Connect with Heart and Soulution: Follow on Instagram and join the conversation ⁠@heartandsoulution⁠.

In this episode of Heart & Soulution, hosts Mike and Kristen tackle a thoughtful listener question building on the Season 2 finale ("Because of You"): What do you do when your spouse isn't interested in growing emotionally or spiritually, or chooses not to mature?

When one partner undergoes a spiritual awakening or emotional growth spurt while the other remains stagnant, a "faith gap" opens in the marriage. Grounding the conversation in biblical wisdom and real-life experience, Mike and Kristen explore how to navigate a spiritually mismatched marriage with grace, wisdom, and steadfast love—without turning your spouse into a "conversion project."

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Scripture & References Mentioned:

• 1 Corinthians 7:12–13 — Directives on remaining married to an unbelieving spouse
• John 16:8–11 & John 6:44 — The Holy Spirit's role in conviction and calling
• Matthew 6:14–15 — Extending forgiveness and grace
• Ephesians 4:29 — Speaking words that build others up
• Quote Highlight (Larry Crabb): Maintaining commitment to obey God and ministering to your spouse through every opportunity.
• Featured Book: Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee and Leslie Strobel (2002), which serves as the core resource for the episode's 12 practical steps.
• Podcast Reference: The Heart and Soulution podcast show page on Apple Podcasts, featuring Mike and Kristen Jones's episode archives, including the Season 2 episode "Because of You: Navigating Relationships with Emotionally Immature Parents".

Connect with Heart and Soulution: Follow on Instagram and join the conversation @heartandsoulution.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen Jones interview an engaged couple, Joe and Mali, who share their journey from a chance meeting in a college commuter lounge to preparing for their wedding. The couple discusses the evolution of their relationship, highlighting how they built a strong foundation through deep conversations, shared faith, and effective conflict resolution. They also address the realities of wedding planning, noting that navigating guest lists and family boundaries brought unexpected challenges alongside the excitement of their upcoming marriage. Furthermore, Joe and Mali emphasize the importance of intentional boundaries, explaining how mutual respect, open communication, and maintaining purity have strengthened their bond and prepared them for the future.

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Song referenced in this episode:

• Title: From The Ground Up;
• Authors: Dan + Shay
• Album: Obsessed; 2016
• ⁠Listen on Spotify

• Previous episode referenced: Don't Get Coldplayed; Season 1, Episode 2; August 13, 2025. Listen on any podcast platform including Apple, Amazon, iHeart and of course, Spotify.

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation ⁠⁠⁠⁠@heartandsoulution.

In this episode, Mike and Kristen Jones discuss the importance of intentional dating and spiritual intimacy in marriage using the resource "10 Great Dates: Connecting Faith, Love, and Marriage." They acknowledge that many couples struggle with spiritual differences and the fear of vulnerability, noting that research links strong faith-based connections to higher relationship satisfaction. To overcome these hurdles, the hosts recommend being teachable, practicing compromise, and recognizing that spiritual growth is a lifelong journey rather than a competition. Ultimately, the discussion emphasizes that regularly pursuing your spouse and scheduling intentional dates will reignite passion and deepen your bond as a couple.

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Book Featured in Episode:

• Title: 10 Great Dates: Connecting Faith, Love, and Marriage; Authors: Peter Larson, Heather Larson, David Arp, and Claudia Arp
• You can find it on Amazon.

Articles & Research Mentioned:

• Title: "Do 'Church Ladies' Really Have Better Sex Lives?"

• Authors: Matthew Saxey and Hal Boyd[3][4]
• Publisher: Institute for Family Studies (November 16, 2020)
• Link: Institute for Family Studies Article

• Title: "New Study Finds Spiritual Intimacy Tied To Greater Satisfaction And Commitment In Dating Couples"
• Author: Susan Johnson (reporting on research by Daniel D. Flint & Annette Mahoney in Psychology of Religion and Spirituality)
• Publisher: Cottonwood Psychology (November 27, 2025)
• Link: Cottonwood Psychology Article

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation ⁠⁠⁠@heartandsoulution.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, hosts Mike and Kristen sit down with Amber Hollingsworth, a veteran addiction counselor with over 20 years of clinical experience and founder of the popular YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down (boasting over 800,000 subscribers). Amber challenges traditional narratives around addiction, rejecting the notion that families must passively wait for a loved one to hit "rock bottom" or rely strictly on harsh "tough love". Drawing from both her professional work and her own upbringing in an addicted family system, Amber outlines practical, empathetic strategies that empower loved ones to break toxic communication loops, rebuild mutual trust, and inspire lasting recovery.

© 2025-2026 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Amber Hollingsworth's YouTube channel, Put The Shovel Down. You're not helpless. You just need a better strategy.

• Amber's website, Family Recovery Academy. For families that have tried everything and are running out of ideas.

• ⁠You can also reach Amber on Instagram @puttheshoveldown

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation ⁠⁠@heartandsoulution.

This podcast episode features hosts Mike and Kristen Jones as they launch the third season of Heart and Soulution, a show focused on improving interpersonal relationships. The hosts introduce the concept of a "sleep divorce," exploring how modern couples manage sleep disruptions like snoring or mismatched schedules to preserve their connection. Transitioning from home life to international adventure, they recount a recent family trip to Ireland intended to honor Kristen's late father. The narrative balances practical travel advice, such as navigating Dublin’s transit and finding hidden landmarks, with emotional reflections on traveling with adult children. Ultimately, the episode serves as a reintroduction to the series, highlighting upcoming topics like addiction, finances, and burnout.

© 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme (feat. Mike Jones)", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Article Mentioned: 3 Signs You're Going Through a 'Sleep Divorce' – And the Expert Strategies to Restore Your Quality of Rest Right Now. Publication: Homes & Gardens. Author: Ottilie Blackhall (Sleep Editor). Published Date: March 6, 2026. Link: Homes & Gardens Article.

• Barry Lodge: Spanish Point, Miltown Malbay, Co. Clare, Ireland. Originally built in 1790 but has been tastefully updated and sits on 6 acres near the coast. David is an amazing host and the home is incredible,

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation ⁠@heartandsoulution.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, hosts Mike and Kristen Jones conclude the second season by reflecting on their own relationship through a series of personal questions. They discuss the vital role of humor in marriage, noting how it serves as a tool for deescalating conflict despite occasional lapses in timing. The couple shares memories of their early dating experiences to emphasize that mutual friendship and active pursuit are the keys to maintaining a "spark" after the honeymoon phase. They also explore the concept of love as a daily choice rather than a fleeting feeling, critiquing modern dating shows for ignoring "red flags" in favor of superficial attraction. Finally, the hosts describe their daily rhythms and holiday traditions as essential methods for building a "bank" of positive memories to rely on during difficult times. 

© 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• Song reference (title and content): "Faithfully" by Journey (1983).
• Song reference: "Can you Feel The Love Tonight" by Elton John (1994).

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation @heartandsoulution.

In this episode, Mike and Kristen Jones discuss the psychological impact of emotionally immature parents. Drawing from Lindsay Gibson's research, the hosts explore how such parents often exhibit child-like behaviors, including a lack of empathy, extreme defensiveness, and the use of guilt or silence to control their children. These dynamics frequently lead to emotional isolation and a persistent sense of loneliness for the adult child, who may inadvertently seek out similarly unhealthy relationships. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the necessity of establishing firm boundaries to break generational cycles of dysfunction. Ultimately, Mike and Kristen encourage listeners to shift their expectations, acknowledging that while they cannot change an immature parent, they can find healing and security through personal growth and spiritual faith. 

© 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• "Emotionally Immature" Is Not A Diagnosis, by Rachel Haack, MA, MFTI, "Psychology Today" (April 18, 2025).

• Gibson, Lindsay C., PsyD (2016), Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents:How to Heal From Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involve…, New Harbinger Publications.

• Song reference (title): "Sign of the Times" by Harry Styles (2017).

• Scazzero, Pete and Gerri. (2023), Emotionally Healthy Relationships: Discipleship That Deeply Changes Your Relationship With Others. HarperChristian Resources.

• Growing up, Bianca could never predict her father’s moods: the disorientation of an emotionally imm…, by Carly Dober, "The Guardian" (October, 2025).

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation @heartandsoulution.

In this episode of Heart and Soulution, Mike and Kristen Jones discuss the psychological concept of emotionally immature parents and the polarizing reception of Lindsay Gibson’s popular book on the topic. They explore a Psychology Today article that criticizes the book for potentially encouraging layman diagnoses and shutting down family dialogue, contrasting it with a Guardian piece that validates the painful, unpredictable experiences of adult children. The hosts emphasize that while the book may not be a strictly scientific clinical tool, it serves as a valuable resource for self-awareness and setting healthy boundaries. They define emotional maturity as the ability to remain objective, take responsibility for one’s feelings, and maintain deep connections without exploiting others. Ultimately, the discussion encourages listeners to use these insights to break generational cycles of dysfunction and foster more honest, differentiated relationships. 

© 2025 All Music by Mike and Kristen Jones for use by Heart and Soulution, including "Heart and Soulution theme", "Card of the day", "Get to Know You Theme", "If We're Asking Other People Theme" and all background music; written and created by Mike Jones; produced and mastered with Suno.com.

Reference material and Resources to dive deeper:

• ​"Emotionally Immature" Is Not A Diagnosis, by Rachel Haack, MA, MFTI, "Psychology Today" (April 18, 2025).

• Gibson, Lindsay C., PsyD (2016), Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents:How to Heal From Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, New Harbinger Publications.

• Song reference (title): "Sign of the Times" by Harry Styles (2017).

• Scazzero, Pete and Gerri. (2023), Emotionally Healthy Relationships: Discipleship That Deeply Changes Your Relationship With Others. HarperChristian Resources.

• Growing up, Bianca could never predict her father’s moods: the disorientation of an emotionally immature parent echoed into her adulthood, by Carly Dober, "The Guardian" (October, 2025).

Connect with Heart and Soulution:

• ​Follow on Instagram: Join the conversation @heartandsoulution.