Signs of a critical heart:

You aren’t happy for someone else

You assume any decision leadership makes is a bad one

You are quick to become angry about everything

You spend your time tearing others down

Does any of this sound familiar? Can you see any of this fruit in your life? In a way, I want to encourage you that it probably will at some point. And really, the good news is that these things can change.

If this is where you find yourself, it doesn’t mean you are stuck here forever. Here are some things that can help you check your heart.

1. Pray that God will soften your heart

• You will not be able to change your heart without prayer. 
• Ask God to reveal your critical heart to you.

2. Start praying for other people

• There were seasons where my heart was so critical that I couldn’t pray for someone else to be successful. So, I had to start praying that God would help me want to pray for someone to be successful. God is so gracious to lead us along in this way. Don’t take that for granted.

3. Don’t trust one side of the story. 

Proverbs 18:17 The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him. 

Essentially what this does is it forces you not to make a quick judgement. The critical heart lives in the moment. It doesn’t do very well over time.

Don’t trust what anyone says about anyone else. It doesn’t matter who it is. If the senior pastor of the organization comes to me and say something about someone else on the team, I don’t take it at face value. Go to the person in question and confirm it. 

What this has done for me is almost completely remove the ability for me to have a critical heart. Why? Because I have ALL the information. Now I can make a fair judgment based on all the information, not a rash judgement based on my critical heart.

4. Slow down

• You don’t need to react immediately.

Proverbs 19:11 A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

5. Heal the people around you

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

What if the people around you are broken. Do you think that they are? Are they going through something? Is there something difficult happening in their job or family? Maybe a financial hardship? 

When we make rash judgements about people born out of our critical heart, we lose the opportunity to understand what the people around us actually need. 

Perhaps the most impactful recommendation I can give you is this: take all of the energy you spend making quick judgements about people, and use that energy on crafting pleasant words. 

Something that I’ve started doing is targeting people that are in the midst of making big, scary, or risky changes. I’ll talk to them about what they are working on, and I will invest my energy into encouraging them. Into affirming how God has made them. On telling them that God is working in their lives. That they are valuable and appreciated. 

And you can watch the sweetness of those words change their countenance, and give them a different perspective of the things they are doing.

Imagine if your whole office was that way. Or your whole church! 

How about you start it.